Friday 31 January 2014

Review: I, Frankenstein (2D)

World of Blackout Film Review

I, Frankenstein Poster

I, Frankenstein (2D)
Cert: 12A / 92 mins / Dir. Stuart Beattie
WoB Rating: 1/7



"You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could […] But your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could that they didn't stop to think if they should…"

~ Ian Malcolm, Isla Nublar, 1993.


A confused, shambling bastardisation of the familiar, painstakingly yet sloppily assembled from components which don't fit together neatly or effectively, because established order never designed them to; An achievement of modern technology certainly, yet an insult to its origins and a mockery of everything it tries and fails to be; At first glance, a terrifying abomination, yet if we stop to look more closely, there is a heart beating beneath the surface, struggling to find some purpose among the turbulence it creates; struggling to find meaning.

Oh, and there's a monster in the film as well. BOOM!

I won't beat around the bush, I, Frankenstein is utter shite. From the over-acting of every performer who doesn't play a named character, to the embarrassed under-acting of everyone who does, this is an extended cut-scene from a very average video game which blithely assumes its audience isn't old enough to have any grounding in the source-material. The CGI gargoyles hold about as much weight as the god-awful script, and are only slightly less laughable than Bill Nighy's demon-horde, wearing Reservoir Dogs suits, and masks bought from Docklands Studio's nearest 99¢ store at Hallow'een.

The more the screenplay tries to create bonds with its literary and cinematic forebears, the more excruciating things become, and when Ian Frankenstein delivers his closing soliloquy (vowing to become some kind of Batman-type vigilante if a sequel should ever see the light of day), my toes curled so hard they tore through my shoes*1.

Far more boring than a story of this kind should ever be, 'I, Frankenstein' is a creation which should have stayed on the page, where it belongs.
I would have marked the film a point higher*2, but the shoehorning in of "It's alive… It's alive!" is a far greater blasphemy than the reanimation of a living being could ever be…



Is the trailer representative of the film?
Go away.


Did I laugh, cry, gasp and sigh when I was supposed to?
Go away.


Does it achieve what it sets out to do?
Go away.


Pay at the cinema, Rent on DVD or just wait for it to be on the telly?
Go away.


Will I think less of you if we disagree about how good/bad this film is?
Go away.


Will I watch it again?
Go away.


Is there a Wilhelm Scream?
I think I might have heard one, or it may have been my brain trying to insert something into the proceedings which would make me smile, kind of like a cinematic "safe place". Either way, I'm not likely to watch it again and find out.


And if I HAD to put a number on it…


And my question for YOU is…
Bill Nighy, I know you have bills to pay, but what price your dignity, man? WHAT PRICE, YOUR DIGNITY?



*1 ©Martin Wolfenden, TGR.
*2 At least for the achievement of actually completing "a film", however sketchily.

DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

Thursday 30 January 2014

Review: Inside Llewyn Davis (second-pass)

World of Blackout Film Review

Inside Llewyn Davis Poster

Inside Llewyn Davis (second-pass)
Cert: 15 / 105 mins / Dir. Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
WoB Rating: 5/7



So after what probably seemed like a lukewarm review, I decided to watch Inside Llewyn Davis again before it gets relegated to afternoon showings next week. The good news is, it's just as mesmerising the second time around (perhaps more so, as the spiralling narrative of the film feels even more like a recurring dream). The rhythms of Llewyn's opportunity, ineptitude and regret are almost soporific, in the much same way that Davis himself finds it impossible to break the cycle of his behaviour. Oddly, the inevitability of his failures remains consistent however many times you watch the film. C'est la vie.

If there's a downside, it's that I didn't really gain that much from watching the film again; I'd hoped that I could lay the plot on the back seat and focus more on everything else, but it's either everything I caught last week, or so far beyond me that I'm never going to get it (the more likely option). It's not that the film is mysterious, more that it's magnificently subtle. That said, I had more fun with the secondary characters this time around, especially knowing in advance how they work in isolation of one another.

I was initially unsure about the opening and closing motifs, and having watched the film again am now even moreso. It's not something I'll go into here, but if you want to get symbolic, come and have a chinwag over at the Facebook page. I look forward to you bending my brain...

Inside Llewyn Davis is a fiendishly interesting film, although while there's plenty for me to like, I can't bring myself to outright love it. I probably don't need to see this again for some time now, and when I do return, it'll be largely for the soundtrack. It's a film I'd recommend, but for when you're in a contemplative mood.

And yes, that does sound massively self-indulgent. It's a Coen Bros film, after all ;)



Is the trailer representative of the film?
Yeah.


Did I laugh, cry, gasp and sigh when I was supposed to?
As much as I was ever going to, yes.


Does it achieve what it sets out to do?
Now, I think it probably does.


Pay at the cinema, Rent on DVD or just wait for it to be on the telly?
It's a night in with a bottle of red.


Will I think less of you if we disagree about how good/bad this film is?
No.


Will I watch it again?
Yeah.


Is there a Wilhelm Scream?
No.


And if I HAD to put a number on it…


And my question for YOU is…
So. Coen Bros. Where's a good place to start?
Haven't been able to latch onto anything I loved. I didn't like True Grit, but I thought No Country… was okay (just not 'my thing'). A couple of other films of theirs I've tried and failed with, but am willing to have another go. So, where do I start?





DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

Tuesday 28 January 2014

Review: 12 Years A Slave (second-pass)

World of Blackout Film Review

12 Years A Slave Poster

12 Years A Slave (second-pass)
Cert: 15 / 134 mins / Dir. Steve McQueen
WoB Rating: 7/7



My second viewing of 12 Years A Slave (first, here) may have lessened some of the shock, but none of the power. McQueen tells Solomon Northup's story masterfully, and even knowing the outcome, I was still enthralled for every single frame.

Chiwetel Ejiofor's greatest triumph is how he can leave an audience loving something so soul-wrenching. Provocative without being patronising, rarely is any film so deserving of your attention.



Is the trailer representative of the film?
Yes.


Did I laugh, cry, gasp and sigh when I was supposed to?
Yes.


Does it achieve what it sets out to do?
Yes.


Pay at the cinema, Rent on DVD or just wait for it to be on the telly?
Cinema.


Will I think less of you if we disagree about how good/bad this film is?
Yes.


Will I watch it again?
…later.


Is there a Wilhelm Scream?
No.


And if I HAD to put a number on it…


And my question for YOU is…
Well? Have you seen it? What did you think? Let rip on the Facebook page...



DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

Review: Jack Ryan - Shadow Recruit

World of Blackout Film Review

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit Poster

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
Cert: 12A / 105 mins / Dir. Kenneth Branagh
WoB Rating: 3/7



Wow. I get the impression that Chris Pine landed the role of Jack Ryan after his performance in last year's This Means War, an action/spy caper in which he gets to trade barbs and punches with Tom Hardy. It's not a bad film by any stretch, but its saving grace is the constant comedic flow between the leads. Replace that banter with mumbled CIA gibberish between Captain Kirk and Robin Hood, and you've got the new techno-thriller, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit.

It's more Mission Impossible than James Bond, but throughout, it lacks the fun, style or wit of either. An opening sequence truncates Jack's early career, from brilliant financial whizz studying in London, to brilliant brave soldier shooting people in Afghanistan and rescuing his comrades from a burning helicopter, to brilliant undercover spy working on Wall Street and tracking terrorists by their financial slip-ups. All of this while routinely lying about his job to his nurse/carer/fiance, Cathy, and that's her own fault really because she won't marry the secretive fibber (CIA rules, apparently. Jack said so).

So is it any good? Not particularly. It's reasonably competent at what it's doing, but that's just not particularly great. Initially crammed with computer idiot-displays which don't exist in the real world, and top-secret organisations with the crappiest security money can buy, the film doesn't take long before it resorts to good old car chases and men punching the shit out of each other. And all the while, director Kenneth Branagh doing his bit to let Hollywood know that North Korea is back off the xenophobia menu, and now it's time to start baiting the Russians again. Go on, Ken! Tell Keira how "I em bed men; listen to voice, da?"

And I'm not even sure how Keira Knightley manages to struggle in a role that demands nothing of her. I actually quite enjoy her work in the right roles, but this isn't one of them. That said, her part of The Girl One is so underwritten that anyone would struggle to perform it. Pine makes the best of a bad job (ie not enough oomph to gain any critical acclaim, but enough to get a sequel). Kevin Costner is Kevin Costner; then again, that's what he was no doubt hired for.

On a technical-grumble level, the constantly moving/sweeping/juddering camera is irritating enough, but there are several shots in the film which are slightly blurred and ghosted. It looks for all the world like the editing team have zoomed and cropped an existing shot, using a section from the middle of the frame somewhere, then upscaled it and hoped no-one would notice. I can't be the only one who did.

The Moral Of The Story: Hey, the next time you're slagging off the global finance industry, just remember: some of them are really working for government spy agencies and trying to save you! Capitalism and covert surveillance are your friends, you idiot, not The Russians!

It's not absolutely awful, but you deserve better, frankly. At least Tom Cruise did this shit with a smirk on his face.



Is the trailer representative of the film?
The trailer tries harder than the film, I'll give it that.


Did I laugh, cry, gasp and sigh when I was supposed to?
Not really.


Does it achieve what it sets out to do?
I suspect it actually does.


Pay at the cinema, Rent on DVD or just wait for it to be on the telly?
DVD. Tops.


Will I think less of you if we disagree about how good/bad this film is?
I will, a bit.


Will I watch it again?
I can't see that eventuality.


Is there a Wilhelm Scream?
Not that I heard, although by act three, it's basically just white-noise and handheld cameras, so there could be.


And if I HAD to put a number on it…


And my question for YOU is…
Have the CIA ever actually recruited anyone fucking stupid enough to compromise their cover by leaving a cinema-ticket stub in their trouser pocket for their girlfriend to find?



DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

Friday 24 January 2014

Review: Inside Llewyn Davis

World of Blackout Film Review

Inside Llewyn Davis Poster

Inside Llewyn Davis
Cert: 15 / 105 mins / Dir. Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
WoB Rating: 5/7



I won't lie to you, the first time I saw the trailer for Inside Llewyn Davis was with Mrs Blackout, and afterward we looked at each other and I mouthed "what?". This happens more often than is good for anyone, but it's rare that repeat viewings of a trailer actually sell me a film. Nonetheless, by the time today's showing rolled around, I was quite looking forward to it, not least because I'd also heard an interview with the directorial brothers on 5Live, laying the pitch for the narrative and the themes, rather than just the setting. Oh yeah, The Themes. This film has The Themes. It doesn't beat you over the head with them per se, but you should be prepared to understand that you're seeing Llewyn Davis' version of events*1, not that you'll see any other.

The film's soundtrack and Oscar Isaac (responsible for a large percentage of that soundtrack) do the heavy lifting, thematically speaking. Most of the other characters are totems of the various facets of Davis' personality, since we only see them from his point of view, and they very rarely interact with one another. The narrative is needfully meandering, as again, it's essentially Davis telling the story, and it reflects his haphazard lifestyle.

Bruno Delbonnel's soft-focused camera lends the film a dream-like quality, tranquil and disconnected even in its more emotionally traumatic moments. Quiet, introspective and borderline hypnotic, I think this is how I'm supposed to feel about all Coen Bros films. I think I understood it*2; I think I enjoyed it. But I've been wrong on both counts in the past, so let's chalk it up quietly as a success*3.

Inside Llewyn Davis is as centered and driving as its eponymous character, and is a better film for it. I'm fairly confident I'll get more out of it on repeat viewings, but I'm happy to let it bed in for a while, first.



Is the trailer representative of the film?
Yeah, mostly.


Did I laugh, cry, gasp and sigh when I was supposed to?
…I think I did.


Does it achieve what it sets out to do?
Probably. Maybe. I don't really know.


Pay at the cinema, Rent on DVD or just wait for it to be on the telly?
It's quite an 'intimate' film, so it wouldn't hurt to watch it at home.


Will I think less of you if we disagree about how good/bad this film is?
Nah.


Will I watch it again?
I will.


Is there a Wilhelm Scream?
There isn't.


And if I HAD to put a number on it…


And my question for YOU is…
Is F. Murray Abraham just, like, not ageing or something?



*1 You knew that anyway from the title though, right? Yeah. Good.
*2 Not withstanding the cinematic devices used to tell the story, I know nothing about 1960's folk music, other than the fact that there are 'real world' references in here that I didn't fully get; I just knew they were there.
*3 Me enjoying a Coen Bros film, I mean. Not the film. The film's a success irrespective of how much I get it, I know that much.

DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.