Alien Cert: 15 / 111 mins / Dir. Ridley Scott / Trailer
And following a brief break after Prometheus, the second-part of the 426 extravaganza was 1979’s original Alien movie*1.
The problem with running this double-bill in chronological story order, of course, is that the original film really isn’t ageing well, visually. There, I said it. The film stock is furry, even for a remastered director's cut. Miniatures look like miniatures, the fully-grown Xeno looks like a guy in a suit, and the escape of the iconic chestburster is nothing short of comical*2. And that's all fine until you run it back to back with a flick made in the digital age.
But, when it comes down to the mechanics of the Mansion Murderer In Space, Scott’s film is masterfully tense and hasn't been topped since (although many are still trying). This was the first time I’d seen the original Alien at the cinema. Hopefully it won’t be the last...
As the Nostromo is hauling an ore-refinery for mining operations, that effectively makes the seven crew members and the Seven Dwarfs.
Which would make the Xenomorph Snow White.
If you can bear the analogue-feel on a digital-screen, yes.
It does.
Probably not, but only because of their impressive other work.
Nope.
Nope.
Level 2: Sigourney Weaver's in this of course, and she starred in A Monster Calls along with the voice of Liam 'Qui-Gon' Neeson.
Yeah, I've marked it up. Despite looking worse in the cinema, the film's better in the cinema. Me mordere...
*1 There were 13 people in the auditorium for the screening Prometheus which is embarrassing enough. But two of those left in the interval, and one walked out about ten minutes into Alien. Who does that? I could understand if they'd been showing the films the other way around. Alien is generally accepted as the better of the two, right? Some weird reverse film-snobbery going on.
[ BACK ]
*2 Not the screaming and the writhing; that bit where it looks around then goes skittering off across the floor. Tonight's audience had already watched a far more visceral version of the birthing process in Prometheus of course, but then this film was followed by a couple of sequences from Covenant, one of which shows a similar event. So seeing modern-interpretations both before and after John Hurt’s most famous scene doesn’t really do the film any favours I’m afraid. [ BACK ]
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
It takes a certain skill to make the central character in your PG-rated adventure flick an 11yr old boy, and yet not be making a kids' film. Step forward Mr Terry Gilliam. Time Bandits bridges the phases of his career between Python and mainstream film-making*1, which turns out to be both its strength and its weakness.
The film feels a little like a companion-piece to Monty Python and the Holy Grail, with the surreal humour and roving quest carried over. It's definitely Gilliam reaching further than before (despite messrs Palin and Cleese having prominent comedic cameos), but he's not quite ready to take the strides he did in Brazil or Munchausen. There's also still the feeling that the film is a series of vignettes assembled into a screenplay, or a bare-bones story which has been padded out with previously written material.
The cast are a real mixed bunch in terms of acting (Ralph Richardson can't always have been like that, surely?), although they're all earnest and enthusiastic enough to carry the bizarre story forward. But it's really David Rappaport who shines as the Bandits' leader Randall, to the point where he's almost too good for the film. There are also some great effects and high production values at work, especially as you can often tell that there was a very finite budget available.
Despite Gilliam's stamp being all over Time Bandits, you're never quite sure who's actually in charge. Charmingly shambolic (at least some of which is intentional), like The Hobbit re-imagined by Douglas Adams…
Best line:Best line: "If I were creating a world I wouldn't have started with butterflies and daffodils. I'd have started with lasers. Eight o'clock, day one!"
Yeah, really. I've seen clips of it, of course, and even read the comic-adaptation in Return Of The Jedi Weekly back in the day. But never seen it. Until now.
I am, but I'm also glad I saw it in such close proximity to Holy Grail.
With reservations, yes.
There only bloody IS, an'all!
The film stars Kenny 'R2' Baker, Jack 'Jawa/Ugnaught/Teebo the Ewok' Purvis, Mike 'Logray the Ewok' Edmonds and Malcolm 'Un-named Ewok Warrior' Dixon.
*1 Well, as mainstream as film-making can be under Mr Gilliam's magnificent auspices...
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
So it turns out that due to a projector malfunction when I first saw this film, I missed Peter Jackson's screen-cameo of almost Stan Lee proportions. Well, there we go. This second chapter of The Hobbit story feels like a much more focused film than its predecessor, but still with the same tendency to dawdle occasionally (in particular Laketown, which not only knocks the film out of gear, but also disconnects the engine and takes the wheels off).
I still maintain that the best part of the movie is the barrel-chase, even if it does feel a bit like watching someone play a video-game. Bilbo's growing obsession with The Ring is also nicely realised here, and is pretty much the one part where Martin Freeman gets to actually act rather than being Tim From The Office™.
On the downside, what the hell's going on with the Human/Dwarf/Hobbit size ratios in this film? In some of the shots where they're all together, the dwarves have been shrunk in the frame so they look like children, rather than the squat warriors they're meant to be. I enjoyed the film again though; it shows a nice progression
Best line #1: "Kili's sick. He's very sick.
In fact, he's got Advanced Colour Desaturation, which is cinematic shorthand for the penultimate stage of a terminal illness…"
Best line #2: "You have keen eyes, Master Baggins! What with you being able to spot a 700ft stone dwarf carved into the side of a mountain with a staircase for a leg. I only hope that visual acuity lasts to the top, where we'll all be looking at a wall of largely flat stone for a keyhole that has to be a couple of inches long, by definition of the key alone…"
Well, yeah.
More than the last film.
More than the last film.
It's between you and your DVD player, now.
Nope.
In the future, yes.
Not hearing one, unless it's buried. Which given how clear it was in An Unexpected Journey, seems unlikely.
If you know that someone transforms into a rabid bear and they hate dwarves, why would you take 13 dwarves to squat in their house for the night? That'd be like rocking up at N*gel F*rage's summer cottage with So Solid Crew in tow…
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (3D)
Cert: 12A / 161 mins / Dir. Peter Jackson
Despite what I'm about to say, I did enjoy the second installment of The Hobbit. I just wish I'd really enjoyed it. The film (indeed, series) has all the makings of an intense, sprawling epic, and all the mannerisms too, but I can't seem to invest on an emotional level. No matter how earnestly the characters frown, scold and rage, I'm just not buying it. The chase-scenes are dramatic and fraught, but since there's no question of Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage or Aidan Turner dying in the second film*1, I just don't feel the danger. I know this is an issue with most multi-film storytelling, but you've got to sell me the jeopardy (There's also the fact that I don't really care of one of fourteen protagonists carks it, but that more or less goes back to the first movie, to be fair).
Poor old Ian McKellen gets rather shortchanged this time around, too. At an early stage he's Sent Off To Be In The B-Plot, and spends the rest of his scenes booming out the most mundane dialogue as if it contains the meaning of life (in scenes which I've been informed have remarkably little to do with the source-text anyway). That said, he gets his own slice of the action in the third act, but it's not that entertaining to watch an army of orcs beating up an old man. Considering how the last movie shoehorned in Blanchett*2, Weaving and Lee*3 to accompany him, they're conspicuous by their absence in TH:TDOS*4
And my final gripe would be Laketown. Just when the pace has picked up and we've got elves, dwarves and orcs all slugging it out, the action switches to a set which looks like a thawed out Muppets Christmas Carol, ruled over by Stephen Fry playing Stephen Fry™. In all honesty, Peter Jackson may as well have just called him General Melchett and been done with it. Don't get me wrong, I love Stephen Fry, but his appearances completely pulled me out of Middle Earth and invoked a sort of Potter-esque star-spotting.
But… it's great to see the elves in action once more*5, and Evangeline Lilly and Orlando Bloom bring an interesting dynamic to the mix (in that they have conflicted feelings about what they want, rather than being told what they want by a manipulative old man). The waterfall/river chase was the highlight of the action for me, even though the lion's share of the effects work clearly went on the film's climactic scenes with Smaug*6. The titular dragon, incidentally, looks every bit as fantastic as you'd hope, although he was perhaps a little too… conversational for my tastes. Although I did enjoy Thorin's victorious flourish of "And I have you now, right when I pull… this… LEVER! …if you wouldn't mind just waiting there for 45 seconds or so, that'd be great, thanks. Any second now. Any second. Oh, HERE we go! YEAH!"
As much as I piss and moan, at least we don't spend ten minutes watching someone do the washing up. The Desolation Of Smaug is an entertaining if overly-long film, and a move in the right direction. I'm really looking forward to see what, and who, Jackson pulls out of the bag for next year's conclusion. If you're going to see this, see it on the big screen, although the 3D's not a deal-breaker.
Oh, and if you've got a thing about spiders, That Part Of The Film is going to feel like it's going on forever. fyi*7.
Well, the trailer's a lot… snappier?
Mostly.
…Mostly.
It looks nice on a big screen.
No.
At some point, but I doubt it'll be at the cinema.
I didn't hear one this time around.
In the bit in the river: how do those barrels stay upright for the duration? That wouldn't happen, would it?
*1 A sort of reverse-spoiler, there. For those of you who think there's actually a chance that the principle characters could be killed off so early.
*2 That shot of Blanchett which has clearly been lifted from the Lord Of The Rings era doesn't count.
*3Blanchett, Weaving & Lee would be a good name for a Middle-Earth themed solicitors or architects firm. You can have that one.
*4 That's what all the cool kids are calling it, right? TH:TDOS?
*5 I know Legolas isn't supposed to be in the Hobbit. I don't care about that, I just want an engaging movie.
*6 How do you pronounce his name, Smaug or Smaug? I always pronounced it Smaug.
*7 Thanks for reading all of these footnotes, I appreciate it. This actually is how my mind works.
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
