Rampage (3D)
Cert: 12A / 107 mins / Dir. Brad Peyton / Trailer
While recent big-hitters such as Assassin's Creed and Tomb Raider struggle to coherently tell a gaming-orientated story in a cinematic format, director Brad Peyton has wrangled himself a more interesting challenge - adapting a video game which famously has almost no story to tell, in the company of one Dwayne Johnson*1...
Being both male and Of A Certain Age, I spent many an arcade-based hour in the late 1980s feeding money into the Rampage machine. Not as cool as the moving cabinets of Space Harrier or Outrun, nor as geekily immersive as the sprawling Gauntlet, this was a title whereby players were on the side of the monsters and had the (relatively) simple task of destroying buildings as quickly as possible while avoiding being shot at by the army. Then rinse and repeat. Slightly different levels; same strategy and objective. Just smash stuff. Make a mess. The game's called Rampage, after all.
And now they've made a film of that. Should be fun if nothing else, right?
Well, yes and no. Our movie-version is brought to us by a crack team of four screenwriters and casts Johnson as zoologist Davis Okoya, working in tandem with genetic biologist Dr Kate Caldwell (Naomie Harris) to counter an accidental outbreak of The Rampage Virus*2. The escaped strain has made its way to Earth (don't ask), specifically Florida, where it's mutated Davis' gorilla-friend George, a wild wolf who becomes known as Ralph and a crocodile*3, whereby the trio are lured to Chicago by the research company behind the potion, wrecking everything in their collective path*4. The evil corporation are given presence via Malin Ackerman's Claire Wyden, with Jake Lacy as her screen-brother Brett, while Jeffrey Dean Morgan heads up the Not-FBI as Agent Harvey Russell.
The film's first act also introduces Davis' zoo-colleagues Dr Kerry Atkins (played by Marley Shelton) and Nelson (OJ Byrne), then literally forgets about them altogether. God(zilla) knows how many drafts the screenwriters went through, here. It's all a bit of a mess. Although, given what the original game was about, maybe that makes sense?
While the setup lurches from one movie-archetype to the next, the screenplay doesn't take too long to get to the city, and when the three beasts finally went postal on Chigago's double-glazing, I'll freely admit to having a grin on my face. The audience isn't asked to actually believe anything outside of the screen's confines, although if they're not onboard with the ridiculous premise to begin with, the film will do little to convince them otherwise.
Front and centre here is Dwayne Johnson and his double-act with the CGI gorilla. While it's not quite a Planet Of The Apes-level showcase, the animation is executed more than neatly enough to be passable, and Johnson's solid comic-timing saves the day, although that's especially odd considering how the rest of the cast all seem to be playing this with straight-faces*5. If you don't take the movie too seriously (and I promise you, you can't), it's undemanding, entertaining stuff.
The real problem might be how wilfully un-memorable the whole thing is. Falling into the same traps as other Summer smash-'em-ups, Rampage is slightly too long, slightly too derivative, and the last 45 minutes is essentially the white-noise of a city being destroyed for the sake of it, against a ticking countdown end-finale. The game is adapted here as well as it probably can be, but this isn't even a particularly strong vehicle for its star.
Nowhere near as dreadful as San Andreas, nor as great as Jumanji; Rampage is stuck between, in a hard place with The Rock...
Rampage begins as Life then turns into a hybrid of Jurassic World and Pacific Rim.
And you either quite like the idea of that, or you really don't...
If you like films where cities collapse at the end, sure.
This will be a streamer, i think.
It isn't.
Unlikely.
I think there's a Wilhelm buried low in the sound-mix where Lizzie first climbs out of the water and starts squashing the military.
Level 2: Naomie Harris is in this, and she was in those Pirates Of The Carribean films along with Keira 'Sabé' Knightley.
*1 Because utilising Dwayne Johnson to convert an action-game with no real narrative worked out so well for Doom, obviously...
[ BACK ]
*2 The Rampage Virus was of course a cure for all of humanity's diseases which went wrong. Again. Because this is a film and nobody can trust science or the scientists' ability to observe scientific method, obviously. [ BACK ]
*3 In a half-arsed bid to reference the original video game, George the gorilla is named from the start (being an actual character), and the giant mutated wolf is nicknamed on-screen as Ralph, whereas Lizzie the lizard doesn’t appear to get name-checked at all. Which is genetically-edited monster-sexism, if you ask me... [ BACK ]
*4 It's over 1,000 miles from Florida to Chicago, and while we see George getting a lift in a secret-service helicopter (because if there's anyone we trust less than scientists, it's government agencies), I don't recall it being clear how the giant wolf got there. I mean Ralph is 'big' as wolves go, but it'd still take days of on-paw travelling and there'd be plenty of time to stop him in the meanwhile. Apologies if this is covered in the movie and I've just missed it through being stupid, because it's the kind of screenplay where they could explain what two-plus-two is and still make it needlessly confusing. [ BACK ]
*5 And I'd just like to add that it's fantastic to see the award-winning Naomie Harris rocking up in something as inherently silly as Rampage. [ BACK ]
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
The Wolverine (Second-pass / 3D / SPOILERS)
Cert: 12A / 129 mins / Dir. James Mangold
So watching The Wolverine a second time, made some things clearer. And some things, fuzzier. In between viewings, I read the 1982 comic series it's "based" on. That didn't help, either, given that the book and the film share names, locations and that's about it.
Did I enjoy it again? Yes. Do I have a better handle on what's not quite right with it? Yes…
Three things which would make The Wolverine a more enjoyable movie…
A title-card at the beginning Around the time Logan wakes up from seeing Jean and he's got his tramp look going on in the woods would be a lovely spot to insert the film's title card. I usually like the technique of putting it at the end (Thor / Captain America), but I feel it works best when you're introducing a character for the first time, and you've spent two hours outlining who they are. We already have a fairly rounded idea of who Wolverine is, so it seems silly to hold it back.
More importantly, this movie is a slow starter. After the atomic blast, we're pretty much on down-time for the next twenty minutes, and the first time I watched the film I found myself wondering "look, have we started yet, or is he going to wake up again?" Establishing the structure at the beginning of the film would help it flow a lot more smoothly.
More use of the 3D Yes, I saw it in three dimensions this time, and if I'm being honest it's pointless. There are a few (of the outdoor) scenes with terrible ghosting, a few (of the quieter) scenes where it adds a nice level of depth, but nothing special, and the rest of the time it's barely noticeable. I expect at least two fling-things-at-the-camera moments in a 3D action movie, and they didn't even bother to add those. By the time you add the picture being darkened and every poor sod in the auditorium being asked to pay a surcharge for this, it's not really worth the bother.
That being said: the train-top fight does look phenomenal. Although it looked pretty phenomenal in 2D as well, so go figure.
Either apply the 3D properly, and with good reason, or leave it in its box.
Interesting antagonists And this was the part that was really underlined re-watching the film. The two main baddies, Yashida and Viper have been barely written, leaving poor old Logan to pick up the slack; and we all know by now that he's no Tony Stark in the fun-stakes.
Viper, other than seeming like Uma Thurman who's been cast to play The LIzard, feels like she should be one of the background mutants in X3. She's evidently got Magic Green Saliva™ (and in true Marvel fashion, stops to explain her talents to at least one doomed cast member), but we don't know why she's at Yashida's laboratory or what she ultimately wants. Viper seems to be in it for herself, but without knowing her goal, we don't know how far she'll go to achieve it, or what her weaknesses are (other than elevator-counterweights). All the pouting-in-green-outfits in the world doesn't make her a worthy opponent for Weapon X.
Yashida, on the other hand, we do know a little about, but he 'dies' shortly after we meet him, then returns at the end as a crossover between IronMonger and Darth Vader. And other than 'really not wanting to die', we don't have any real idea as to his motivation either. The upshot is that when these cardboard cutout bad-guys finally bite the dust, we don't particularly care. And if we're not bothered about that, Wolverine's victory doesn't matter, either.
When you have a hero as gruff and focused as Wolverine, you need to give him enemies with personality. Col Stryker and Deadpool had that*1. Darth Yashida does not.
It keeps my attention, but why isn't this film more fun?
It's visually dark and thematically po-faced, so yeah.
Hmmm. Ish.
Sadly not.
Marvel enthusiasts will want to see it at the cinema. For everyone else, there's BluRay.
No.
Yes.
There is. It's when Logan is taking on the Ninja-party in the snow village. It's low, but it's there.
How come Logan's hair and beard grows back in the seconds following the atomic blast? The skin-healing I can understand. More to the point, why does it grow back into a style he won't have for another 70 years? Is that his go-to barnet? Obviously he can grow it out into 'The Coiff' (X3) or 'The Tramp' (this film), but is the default blast setting that style? We get to see the Viper chick being bald, but not Logan? That's more than one question, isn't it? And that's another one. Oh.
*1 Sorry to bring that movie up; I know it's generally considered the black sheep of the mutant family, but I really enjoyed it. For all that it lacks in continuity (although let's face it, how do you break a broken machine?), X-Men Origins: Wolverine, was a shit-ton of fun, and felt like it had consequence. And I genuinely wish I could say the same about this movie, but I can't.
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
The Wolverine (2D / Vague-spoilers. Maybe.)
Cert: 12A / 129 mins / Dir. James Mangold
And here we are, with the sequel to Gavin Hood's much maligned 2009 outing vying for our attention (read: money) in the midst of popcorn season. As it turns out, it's more of a sequel to X3, although there are enough callbacks to the Origins movie to assure us that it hasn't been written out of the continuity.
For the most part, The Wolverine features a cast and characters we haven't had the pleasure of meeting before, and while this is refreshing, it means there's a lot to cram in and anyone who's not a central character is sketched, at best. The story bounds along from scene-to-scene, with a bare minimum of exposition and even less breather time. It seems to me that by having Logan limping around dabbing at his grazes for a large percentage of the film, and by giving him a mystery to solve, a female sidekick and some sardonic verbal comebacks, there's been an attempt to make Wolverine more like Indiana Jones; and six movies down the line is not the time to be attempting that. Although despite the notable lack of blood*1, he at least gets his claws dirty when it matters.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed The Wolverine a great deal, but the unfolding-mystery, nomadic-warrior, and super-hero influences are all pulling in different directions. The film I watched tonight never got any better than "good", even though I wanted to like it more (that said, the fight on the top of the train is absolutely outstanding). Hang around during the first batch of credits for the airport security-scanner scene. After that, you can go because there's nothing at the very end.
At least there don't appear to be any of the internal-continuity issues that the series has suffered from so far*2, and if nothing else it answered one of my questions about the bone-claws.
Some background reading and another viewing required, I think…
Pretty much.
Not as much as I'd have liked.
At this point, I really don't know.
For me, it's a cinema-movie.
No.
Yes, and soon.
Not sure. I thought I might have heard it at two separate points.
Since the Xavier/Magneto 'origins' film became First Class, which other X-Men would you like to see given their own movie?
*1 I don't expect a gorefest in a 12A, but it really is a remarkably "clean" film considering all the blades it features.
*2 Although that could be purely because it takes place on the other side of the world with characters we haven't seen before.
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
