Well I for one wouldn't have put money on a cinematic highlight of 2018 being Ewan McGregor's chemistry with a CGI bear. In fact, it's a damned shame that this (repeated) display is the best thing about Disney's Christopher Robin. As a demo-reel for what a great physical and emotional actor Ewan can be, this movie is worth every penny of the ticket.
But it's… well, it's Disney. We know what to expect from the sentimental live-action fare they present, yet it still stings a little when it's not as perfect as their animation. Don't get me wrong, Christopher Robin is a solid movie, but it's one you've seen elsewhere - and not just in Winnie The Pooh stories. Great care is taken to gently lay All The Hits into the script in terms of callbacks and catchphrases, and there are some solid gold moments in here. But it feels like a large idea written in small words, while Jon Brion and Geoff Zanelli's score tells the audience what they should be feeling at any given moment.
Never quite patronising but certainly simplistic, all the emotional buttons are pushed in a way which suggests a safe-play from the studio. Some great deadpan comedy performances get slightly lost in a script which uses twee slapstick as its default setting. I'm not entirely sure that director Marc Forster is the best candidate for the job (despite his excellent work with McGregor, as noted), having previously delivered the lacklustre World War Z and the oft-derided Quantum Of Solace. Moving around the genres is perfectly permissible, but mastering one along the way is preferable.
Christopher Robin's story itself is based on a solid enough premise of nostalgia, family values and paternal redemption, but it's a formula which Disney have already done to perfection with their first Mary Poppins outing. December hares toward us with considerable expectation, to put it mildly.
The film all but abandons its core-message after the first act, racing for the finish line and becoming that movie where the businessman tells his snide boss to stick it up his backside while making an inspirational speech with his daughter at the back of the room that results in a gradual-applause response. Basically, a Jim Carrey film in the late 1990s.
Christopher Robin is good, but despite its high-points you know it should be better.
On the plus side, the recurring motif of the red balloon was very reminiscent of IT, and during the dreamlike underwater-sequence I did expect Ewan to pick up then discard two opium suppositories. Damn that PG certificate.
It feels like a property with the cultural legacy of Winnie The Pooh perhaps deserves more, but that comes down to Disney's stewardship of the brand more than anything else, which is by no means a new issue.
At some point in its development, Christopher Robin was a fantastic movie. But this feels like Disney are lazily trying to ape the success of Paddington, and for that they'll need a little less schmaltz and lot more sincerity…
Well, Paddington, frankly.
Not that it really should be.
Wet Sunday afternoon, sure.
When it comes down to a sensible price it'll be a one to have on the shelf.
Yes, even though I've done little but complain about it.
It's because I care, honest.
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
Everything one would expect from a comedy with the same 'A-level results are in so the kids will want to go out and celebrate and/or commiserate quick let's make a cheap thing from off of the telly' release-window as The Inbetweeners…
…and which wants to let you know it's from the producers of The Inbetweeners…
For the record, I enjoyed The Inbetweeners. When it was in its natural habitat of television. The Festival is essentially an hour and a half of exaggerated embarrassment and one-note dick jokes, some of which *do* work but only due to a combination of volume, frequency and the law of averages. The best part of this is probably Noel Fielding and the whole DJ Hammerhead sequence at the end, but even by the 80 minute mark the film hasn't earned it.
By no means the best comedy I've seen this year, but frankly not the worst either…
It's like being trapped in a lift with the commissioning editor for comedy programmes on BBC3 while they recount all the ideas they didn't let through…
Wait until it's on telly.
It's not.
That's possible.
There isn't.
Level 2: Nick Frost and Tony Way are in this, both of whom were in Spaced with Simon 'Plutt' Pegg.
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
As long-time readers will attest, I'm generally weary of 'horror' as a genre, or studio-horror at least, so pleasant surprises are few and far between. That said, there have been two this year alone, and there's always room on the shelf for another glowing (or throbbing?) recommendation…
And so, writer/director Stephen Susco brings us Unfriended: Dark Web. Not a sequel in the true sense of the word, it is nonetheless a stylistic followup to 2015's Unfriended, where intriguing film-making leapt the hurdle of implausible storytelling.
The whole film is once again presented within the confines of a single computer screen, with all of the events taking place in real-time over text-chats, Facebook, Skype, YouTube videos and all of those various other things the kids are into now. When a young man 'acquires a second-hand laptop', the content he finds on the hard-drive soon implicates him in a web he can't escape, and threatens to bring down his friends, too.
Thinking about the film as a 'sequel' (although the mechanics of the first movie dictate that this one stands alone on some level), I'm glad that the supernatural element has been dropped this time. Unfriended just about got away with it by means of the film's presentation, but twice really would be a push (plus, Friend Request underlined how the same story really doesn't stand up to any amount of scrutiny, even for a ghost movie).
For me in particular, the whole ensemble were effectively unknown actors, so that helped sell the Found Footage 2.0 aesthetic. There are solid performances all-round for such a small cast, and an outstanding one from Colin Woodell as Matias who holds the whole thing together. He effectively gives a 90-minute, solo performance audition tape covering All The Emotions. From a technical point-of-view, this film is outstanding.
There are certain aspects of the in-movie-technology which have to be adapted slightly for the sake of fluid storytelling of course, and it all gets a bit shark-jumpy in the final few minutes, but the film has more than earned it by that point with its sheer persistence of escalation. Tightly written, intricate without coming across as too convoluted. And it's a well-assembled film in the vein of the early Saw entries, although the presentation format means this is a one for the online multi-tasking generation.
Surprisingly, it's far more satisfying (as a horror-movie) than the first Unfriended, and shows up Searching for the twee, maudlin procedural that it is. Much like Hostel, there's little in here that couldn't actually happen, give or take the Da*ly-Ma*l waves of hysterical techno-paranoia and insane amount of coordination on display. Because while the actuality of the plot mechanics are up for debate, if you're not intrigued or disturbed by the thought processes behind the writing, you're not fucking paranoid enough, frankly...
Unfriended: Dark Web is, In the nicest possible way, a nasty little film.
Well, Unfriended, but moreso.
It is.
It is.
Well, we'll watch this space with great interest…
Possibly.
There isn't.
Level 2: Douglas Tait's in this, and he was in that Star Trek with Simon 'the voice of Dengar when he fell of a train at the first sign of a fight and said Ahh Poodo!' Pegg.
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
Disclaimer #1: I'm going to try and write about The Darkest Minds without comparing it to the X-Men franchise in every single paragraph, although you can rest assured that this would be an accurate representation of how it feels to watch the film.
So, in a move which can best be described as intriguing, 20th Century Fox appear to be releasing a cinematic rendition of The Darkest Minds as a way of ripping off 20th Century Fox's X-Men: The New Mutants before it's even landed. Perhaps they're hoping to get a new franchise off the ground before the Marvel property is wrested from their grasp? This film has been adapted from a pre-existing young-adult novel of course, but the point still stands. Perhaps even more firmly considering it was originally intended for a different medium.
With the Hunger Games and Maze Runner series having run their course (and Divergent not even reaching the finish line), I thought the whole "you're special because you're a teenager" sub-genre of movies had petered out. I guess there are some stragglers which were still in pre-production when the market reached saturation point. Because that's definitely a more palatable thought than another wave of these coming through. You know a movie is aimed at the aspirational adolescent demographic when it's partially soundtracked by actual songs, whose bland, breathy lyrics are laid directly over scenes with character dialogue. Apparently, The Youth don't mind this, since it happens so fucking often that there must have been some manner of research or testing to support its repeated occurrence.
Anyway, the plot: Something something, mysterious virus. Something something, only affects teenagers and any which are left alive develop extraordinary powers. Something something, totalitarian government of The Nasty Adults then proceeds to lock up teenagers as a precaution. Something something, but one of them might just be the special one who can turn this crazy bus around! Despite being assembled from cast-offs of all other YA-inclined cinema (indeed, assembled from former cast members in places), The Darkest Minds owes so much to the X-Men that it's had to take out a loan from the Jedi Council just to keep up the repayments*1.
The film is simultaneously over-scripted and under-written, racing to its finish-line with poorly introduced characters (who are then abandoned with equal carelessness) and feeling like it's three movies edited down to one. Demographically, it's good to see that that the protagonist is a black female teenager, and Amandla Stenberg certainly does the best with what she's given. But a performer who's clearly this capable deserves better. The whole cast do. Hopefully The Darkest Minds will sit on their collective CVs as a springboard rather than a paperweight.
And then the final moments of the movie have the utter fucking gall to nod towards a sequel which, given the absolute self-indulgence of what we've not even finished watching yet, could charitably be described as "optimistic".
Five years ago, The Darkest Minds would have disappeared into the crowd as a forgettable, formulaic, teen adventure. In 2018, it stands out by feeling like a very dated version of the same thing…
Hahahahahaha, you are funny.
No.
Whatever.
Without having seen most of the cast elsewhere before, I'm going to say no.
This shouldn't be anybody's best work.
Unlikely, given the film's general reception.
There isn't.
Level 1: Well, early on there's a hospital called "New Hope", but Captain Phasma's in this.
*1 Let's take a quick look through the infringement charge-sheet…
1) A girl too scared to touch the person she cares about in case her uncontrollable power hurts them (Rogue from X-Men)
2) Another girl who wears rubber gloves so that her power doesn't accidentally spang anything-or-one she touches (also Rogue from X-Men)
3) Legally-backed persecution and institutionalised research / euthanisation of gifted youngsters headed by a government official who's terrified of his own mutant son (Stryker from X2, Worthington from X3: The Last Stand)
4) The instruction from a psychic to her pursuer that they should turn around and 'walk, keep walking and do not stop, ever' (Silver Fox to Stryker from Origins: Wolverine)
5) Teenagers are being rounded up since any who weren't killed by the outbreak were left with scary powers, so it really is The Evil Adults against misunderstood kids (pretty much any YA-fiction you'd care to name)
6) Our heroes in Act III fending off a squadron of orange-glowing psychopaths, brainwashed to be battlefield beserkers by the authorities trying to control the mutation for their own ends (the Extremis soldiers from Iron Man 3)
7) Ruby's main Force, err… Mutant, err enhanced power is mind-manipulation, ie extreme suggestibility. At one point she tells an armed guard who's stopped the car that he's not looking for them and they should be allowed to leave. He replies with an affirmative "…move along" in a way which suggests that the screenwriters thought this would be a "subtle" Mos Eisley reference rather than a straight photocopy.
8) The bad guys have a black-clad boss who walks around barking orders and kills his own subordinates as a reward for substandard performance. He's not the main, top-level boss though, just a powerful underling. Luckily, this version doesn't need a respirator.
9) Oh, and at one point Ruby and her dramatic counterpart start discussing the character-structure of the Harry Potter series, somehow unaware that Ruby had inadvertently done the 'forgetticus' spell on her own parents. Remember, like Hermione did in Harry Potter (albeit deliberately but still with the same level of post-trauma). But that's not the aspect of Harry Potter which is referenced in the characters' conversation. I mean for fuck's sake, which way do they want it? She'd remember the Hermione thing as soon as 'Harry Potter' plopped out of her mouth, wouldn't she? Has she read the books or not? I haven't even read them and I know about it.
10) And let's not even mention the Infinity-War-disintegration thing they've got going on with the poster, there. It's used fleetingly in the film too, but it's not a super-power, more a dramatic device. But still.
The Darkest Minds is like watching a bad covers-band play a greatest hits set of pop culture references from the last 40 years, to an audience they hope aren't recognising the tunes...[ BACK ]
OTHER (regular) DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
