Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Review: Divergent

World of Blackout Film Review

Divergent Poster

Cert: 12A / 139 mins / Dir. Neil Burger
WoB Rating: 3/7

I think it's about Stacey off Eastenders leaving District 12 to go and join Slytherin and be one of the Lost Boys before Darth Winslet turns them all into her personal clone army. Or something. As a straight-on action movie it's surprisingly watchable if inoffensive, but thematically it's pretty dire…

You're special. A precious little snowflake. You're not like those others, with their conforming ways (buy a book), all trudging down the same path like sheep (fuck it, buy the set). You know your own mind and you shine by doing things differently (there's a film out as well) and making your own mark on the world (with a soundtrack, obviously). That's why those squares in authority fear you. You see right through the bullshit of conformist life (or just the scored OST, if you prefer), and won't be told what to do by 'the man' (although it's still cold out, you should probably wear a hoodie). So make a stand, and show the world what you're made of!

Oh, and you'll probably need a pencil case, yeah?

Rarely has a film worked so hard at conveying one message…

Damn straight.

Is the trailer representative of the film?

Did I laugh, cry, gasp and sigh when I was supposed to?
Not as much as I was supposed to.

Does it achieve what it sets out to do?
For me, absolutely not. For its market, I have no idea.

Pay at the cinema, Rent on DVD or just wait for it to be on the telly?

Will I think less of you if we disagree about how good/bad this film is?
A little.

Will I watch it again?
I can't foresee that occasion.

Is there a Wilhelm Scream?
I'm pretty certain I heard one when Winslet gets stabbed in the neck.
That's not as much fun as it sounds

And if I HAD to put a number on it…

And my question for YOU is…
You know that bit where they're standing by the sorting-bowls and cutting their hands in an unnecessarily lengthy coming-of-age ceremony? Did anyone else see a whole pile of sterilised knives lying around? Only there are hundreds of kids in that auditorium, and I only saw one cutty-handy-knife. It only takes one of the early ones to have Hepatitis and that's a generation of citizens fucked, surely? How is that society-building?

• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

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