#MarchMovieMadness. If you wanted to put a label on it (and if you're me, you do), that'd be about right in pretty much every sense. It's what happens when you get into the third week of the month and realise you've "only" been to the flicks three times. It's what happens when you have way too much time on your hands (this isn't my job, remember; I'm an office-drone for forty hours a week). It's what happens when you then watch thirteen movies in eleven days, all at the cinema. Considering I'd predicted the review-schedule would slow down this year, well let's just say it hasn't. At all. If they show the films, I will watch the films, that's how that works.
And I only mention this because it's reminiscent of the chain of events which essentially started this blog in the first place. In March 2009 I set myself the target of watching (and crucially, reviewing) a different movie over twelve consecutive days. A mixture of cinema and home screenings, it seemed a fairly arduous committment at the time. Ah, what an amateur. Co-incidentally, it was the same month of 2013 when #MarchMovieMadness saw me be able to mirror the programme, but this time managing to catch a dozen films in the cinema, sequentially.
So as luck would have it (because when it comes to studio distribution patterns, luck plays a greater part than the alignment of the stars), March 2016 has seen me slot in thirteen threatrically-screened movies over eleven days. It's a higher hit-rate than 2013 certainly, but not quite as mathematically pleasing, obviously. And I'd have gone for the full twelve, but a) I don't really like repeating movies within the run (although I had seen one of them previously), and b) I really need to flush the batteries before I take in Dawn of Justice again.
So here's a quick roundup of the things which have been in my eyes over the last week and a half…
That film about the underground bunker was very good, and the polar opposite (pun intended) of the one about the twerking bear. The movies about the tower block and puritans were quite a challenging watch, for both the right and the wrong reasons, so a law-enforcing rabbit made for a nice change of pace. The annoying kids trudging around a nuclear wasteland was nowhere near as satisfying as that sounds, but a panda kicking the crap out of an ancient, evil yak was. This was just as well as the doll of porcelain turned out to be laughable; nowhere near as durable as the man of steel or even the mid-life crisis of vucanised rubber. Saturday saw us being invited to a wedding, after which an unexpected and slightly underwhelming trip to the moon proved to be nowhere near as much fun as belting down a snow-packed chute with two planks strapped to your feet. But as long as we learn from our experiences, even those we only rate with one star, they're not wasted time, right..?
This month's cinema viewing has been a mixed bag (as it should be), so if you don't mind, I'll go for a lie down, now…
And all of this was made possible with Cineworld's Unlimited Card. Other cinema-subscription services are available, but only very recently. And they cost more and don't offer the same discounts and benefits. Well done, guys ;)
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
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