Review: C.H.i.P.s.

C.H.i.P.s.
Cert: 15 / 101 mins / Dir. Dax Shepard / Trailer



So when Dax Shepard™ is laying the Act I groundwork for his day-saving crescendo, he indicates to an interviewing officer that his right-humerus has been replaced with titanium. But when three bullets bounce off it at a plot-critical moment in Act III, they ricochet off his left-arm. So either the central character forgot to mention that he had replacements in both arms (he didn't, he refers to 'a', singular), or this film is too blisteringly fucking stupid to remember its own callback.

'…S.H.i.T.e.'

...


I genuinely have no idea.
Certainly not C.H.i.P.s.



Wel, the surrounding audience seemed to enjoy the film plenty. Although that also includes the patron next to me who slurped on his slush-cup for about three minutes before realising it was empty. Although after each round of guffawing, the same punter did slyly look at me to see if I'd cracked a smile yet. I hadn't.



Well, this is very clearly The Dax Shepard™ Vanity Hour, so it probably does. The film does not exist as a tribute, homage or even reference to the original TV series. It is a seriously below-par buddy-cop comedy with brand-licensing applied over the top. As writer, director, exec-producer and star, Dax has gone The Full Sandler in ensuring he smirks his way through the film, being awarded with awe, respect and All The Hot Chicks without having to develop his character one bit.

This is indeed the film which Dax Shepard™ intended to make.



It's not. One of the main problems (other than Dax Shepard™) is that Michael Peña starred in pretty much the same role in pretty much the same film less than a year ago. War On Everyone has more than its share of problems, but at least it knows exactly how obnoxious it is.

It's nice that Erik Estrada went on to retweet negative comments about the movie, despite having taken a paycheck from it. Although I'm fairly sure that when Estrada agreed to step onto the set for his clanging-great cameo appearance, he hadn't read the final draft of the script, let alone seen any completed footage, quite possibly more impressed by the roll-call of US comedy stalwarts also onboard, who quite frankly should know better.

The only point in its favour is that if CHiPs didn't exist for the sole purpose of stroking Dax Shepard™'s not inconsiderable ego, it would probably star Mark Wahlberg and be getting an even wider release as a result…



*narrows eyes*
*nods imperceptibly*

…try it.



No.



Level 2: Kristen Bell's in this. She was in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, as was Bill 'BB-8' Hader.



I do not hand out 'ones' lightly.

I'd like to really rip into CHiPs and tell you it's the morally and artistically offensive turd in Warner Bros' festering comedy crown, but the truth is it's not even worthy of that much analysis. Although I'm still smiling at the thought of the cast and crew having it on their IMDB pages permanently like a punishment-brand, so the film's left me with something, at least…


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