Wednesday, 12 April 2017

Review: C.H.i.P.s.

Cert: 15 / 101 mins / Dir. Dax Shepard / Trailer

So when Dax Shepard™ is laying the Act I groundwork for his day-saving crescendo, he indicates to an interviewing officer that his right-humerus has been replaced with titanium. But when three bullets bounce off it at a plot-critical moment in Act III, they ricochet off his left-arm. So either the central character forgot to mention that he had replacements in both arms (he didn't, he refers to 'a', singular), or this film is too blisteringly fucking stupid to remember its own callback.


…as if this is the worst thing about C.H.i.P.s.


So, watch this if you enjoyed?
I genuinely have no idea.
Certainly not C.H.i.P.s.

Should you watch this in a cinema, though?
Wel, the surrounding audience seemed to enjoy the film plenty. Although that also includes the patron next to me who slurped on his slush-cup for about three minutes before realising it was empty. Although after each round of guffawing, the same punter did slyly look at me to see if I'd cracked a smile yet. I hadn't.

Does the film achieve what it sets out to do?
Well, this is very clearly The Dax Shepard™ Vanity Hour, so it probably does. The film does not exist as a tribute, homage or even reference to the original TV series. It is a seriously below-par buddy-cop comedy with brand-licensing applied over the top. As writer, director, exec-producer and star, Dax has gone The Full Sandler in ensuring he smirks his way through the film, being awarded with awe, respect and All The Hot Chicks without having to develop his character one bit.

This is indeed the film which Dax Shepard™ intended to make.

Is this the best work of the cast or director?
It's not. One of the main problems (other than Dax Shepard™) is that Michael Peña starred in pretty much the same role in pretty much the same film less than a year ago. War On Everyone has more than its share of problems, but at least it knows exactly how obnoxious it is.

It's nice that Erik Estrada went on to retweet negative comments about the movie, despite having taken a paycheck from it. Although I'm fairly sure that when Estrada agreed to step onto the set for his clanging-great cameo appearance, he hadn't read the final draft of the script, let alone seen any completed footage, quite possibly more impressed by the roll-call of US comedy stalwarts also onboard, who quite frankly should know better.

The only point in its favour is that if CHiPs didn't exist for the sole purpose of stroking Dax Shepard™'s not inconsiderable ego, it would probably star Mark Wahlberg and be getting an even wider release as a result…

Will I think less of you if we disagree about how good/bad this film is?
*narrows eyes*
*nods imperceptibly*

…try it.

Yes, but is there a Wilhelm Scream in it?

Yes, but what's the Star Wars connection?
Level 2: Kristen Bell's in this. She was in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, as was Bill 'BB-8' Hader.

And if I HAD to put a number on it…
I do not hand out 'ones' lightly.

I'd like to really rip into CHiPs and tell you it's the morally and artistically offensive turd in Warner Bros' festering comedy crown, but the truth is it's not even worthy of that much analysis. Although I'm still smiling at the thought of the cast and crew having it on their IMDB pages permanently like a punishment-brand, so the film's left me with something, at least…

• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

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