CAUTION: Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
I made this.
It came out like this.
^^ 1000x1166px, 184kb.
Why? ...Why not?
I'll probably do some more when I get the time.
DISCLAIMERS: • ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organizations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
So:Kung Fu Panda 2. A worthy sequel to a solid original, or the chance to tell another basic fable and stick a 2 on the end? Mostly the first one, but there are shades of the second, to be sure.
The core of the story, identity and self-belief, is on firm enough ground and it's a great thing to have in a kids movie. The film opens addressing this, with hints of the backstory surrounding Po, the titular Panda. Then, it seems to lose its way for half an hour or so. It's difficult to put my finger on how exactly, as it's not like any sub-plots really take over, but maybe the whole thing could do with tightening up? It's not really until Po and The Furious Five begin to track and face-off with Gary Oldman's Lord Shen that it really picks up the pace. After this begins, KFP2 is on form with its predecessor.
There seem to be less gags this time round; at least the majority of the ones that are there are visual and in-the-moment, so that there isn't really any build-up or pay-off to them, it's largely just chuckling because Po's fallen over etc.
...if it seems like I'm judging it harshly, I'm not, it's just definitely a movie for the youngsters. There's enough thematically for the grown-ups, but they'll get more out of something like Despicable Me.
I should also point out that the visuals in Kung Fu Panda 2 are stunning, and I include the 3D in that (although the best 3D seems to be in CGI movies, when you can stretch the boundaries of the action to match the spectacle of three dimensions).
All in all: If you liked the first movie you'll enjoy this, although it's not quite the ride that its counterpart was. On its own merit? Lots of fun. It won't be the first time that the kids have heard the be-yourself message, but it's no bad thing to remind them again.
DISCLAIMERS: • ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organizations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
CAUTION: Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
UMBRELLA SEASON!
Ho ho! No silly, I don't mean the combination of the British Summer weather and Wimbledon fortnight! I'm talking about The Umbrella Corporation, and the healthier pastime of locking yourself indoors, drawing the curtains and watching five bio-weapon zombie movies over three days.
This is Steve's fault. I asked on Twitter which movie I should watch, and because of him, I settled on 2002's RESIDENT EVIL, the movie spin-off from the video/computer game franchise. But me being me, I can't leave it at that. Not when I've got the other movies sitting on the shelf next to it.
As usual, each of these are also listed separately over on my Facebook album which records all the movies I watch this year. As these are micro reviews, I'm not going into the plot (although I rarely do in a review anyway), and they're essentially aimed at people who've seen some of the movies listed. If you want to know more about each one, click on the poster to go to the appropriate Rotten Tomatoes page.
So without further ado, let the carnage commence…
Resident Evil 30 Jun 2011. Location: Home
I don't care what people say, I love this film. Then again, I've never played any of the games, so I'm going in without any baggage.
Hot chicks, big guns, bio-weapons and zombies. What's not to love?
Resident Evil: Apocalypse 30 Jun 2011. Location: Home
I still can't quite get into this one as much as the first, even though I know (or maybe because I know) there are more game-references to be had in here.
The scope seems smaller, somehow; the film's more claustrophobic. Normally I'd say that it's because most of the action takes place at night or in darkened complexes, but the first one was no different in that respect.
I think ultimately it's because the character of Jill Valentine was introduced so badly, with no unfolding back-story (because not all of us have played the games), and I just found it hard to relate to her.
No matter, it's still a competent enough addition to the canon, but it's my least favourite of the franchise.
Resident Evil: Extinction 01 July 2011. Location: Home
I think this is my favourite. There's less of the future-noir look, and more of the earthy dryness of the Nevada Desert, which gives the whole movie a lot more of a 'warm' feel. It also seems like the creators are trying to reference the games less in this one; there are character names and archetypes etc, but it feels more comfortable in its own skin than the previous two movies.
My favourite part is the zombies, though. With less focus on the mutated-monster aspect, RE3 comes off more like a slick zombie film than a sci-fi mashup, and (for me at least), it's way more watchable because of it.
Only cons? There are a hell of a lot of body-shots in this film, when you consider that every character with a gun knows by now that you stop the undead with head-shots. Ho-hum.
Also interesting to see the makers trying to bridge the gap between fresh-faced RE1 Alice, and the frankly harder-faced RE3 Alice. Don't get me wrong, Jovovich is still stunning, but it looks like she's spent a lot of time scowling since the 2002 Resident Evil...
Anyhow: I love it.
Resident Evil: Afterlife 01 July 2011. Location: Home
Leaving aside some pretty large flaws (guns that work after being submerged in water, the amount of time people can hold their breath under the same water, walking away from a plane crash AFTER losing your superpowers, and the bizarre tardis-like inner dimensions of the ship Arcadia), this is another VERY slick zombie movie.
Some of the photography on show here is breathtaking (and I don't just mean Ali Larter lingering under the sprinkler system), with sequences originally designed for 3D looking almost as impressive in two dimensions. There are a few nods to The Matrix in the fight scenes, but they're few and far enough between to not over-do it.
Not quite as good as Extinction, but a very worthy entry to the series.
Resident Evil: Degeneration 02 July 2011. Location: Home
Onto a slightly different tack here, and the first fully animated Resident Evil film from 2008. It takes place in the universe of the games, so is more closely related in terms of timeline and plot-points etc (I say that, but as previously mentioned, I haven't played the games, so I wouldn't really know).
It's interesting that as gorgeous as the animation is in RE:D, it already looks a little dated, due to everything being 'real' as opposed to stylised. This level of CGI animation, that used to be the preserve of movies and in-game cut-scenes, is now being rendered live in many games. Because of this, it does feel a little like watching an extended cut-scene, but in many ways I suppose that's intentional.
It's great for what it is, but it doesn't hook me in as much as (the majority of) the live-action movies.
All in all: It's still a standard that it's difficult to make a great game>movie conversion, and while the Resident Evil films have their detractors, the fact remains that there aren't many series in that genre who are currently working on their fifth installment, and still getting cinema releases for each one.
The Resident Evil movies will probably never win any awards, but they're a constant source of 'competent' entertainment, and I think that's an undervalued property considering a lot of the shit that gets released these days.
DISCLAIMERS: • ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
CAUTION: Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
'As clumsy as I am stupid'. That's what he said, I'm not kidding.
A 6'7" cyborg calling me clumsy. I heard about the first time he wore that suit. He was staggering about like a stunned wampa, apparently. He got the hang of it pretty quickly, admittedly, but his brain didn't seem to catch up. He's still just a massive battle droid with the brain of an oafish infant. Normally I'd be hesitant to even think such a thing, but I don't suppose it matters now. I'd be lying if I said this didn't hurt.
Do you have any idea - any idea? - how many technician hours we lose every month due to false alarms? If the whole system wasn't so results driven, it wouldn't matter, but all the brass are interested in is hits. You can spend days analysing heat signatures and electromagnetic waves from an apparently uninhabited planet, and when it turns out to be a dead end? No thanks. No thanks at all. There was a small rock in the Raxus system last month, no atmosphere, no gravity, circling in a very loose orbit around Raxus Prime. A higher-than-normal metal content, but the galaxy's full of junk (especially Raxus). "Com-Scan has detected a faint energy signature," they said. "Your team has been tasked to provide full report on the situation." Oh great. Comscan gets a whiff of something, but can't tell what it is or provide any analysis. Like an Akk-dog that picks up a scent, but can't tell you if it's the prey you're after, or just something that might be lunch.
Of course I see the value in having people perform the investigation. I know that the best machines will never be able to out-think even an average fugitive. After 16 standard hours of probing and measuring, it turned out there was a small base buried in the asteroid. Well, I say 'base', it was more of a storage facility. The landing bay had been sealed long ago, and thanks to collisions from smaller asteroids,had atrophied to look indistinguishable from the rest of the surface. Myself and three commandos from the 501st managed to hack open an emergency exit on the other side of the rock. When we finally made it in (two hours of cutting in hard vacuum), the passage was so decayed that a chunk of loose debris broke the seal on Sergeant Bax's suit. I had to write the letter to his family. I hardly knew the man, but after working with him that day, I knew that we lost a loyal, intelligent soldier so that we could investigate an abandoned warehouse, to appease an overgrown bully in a cape.
I think he heard that, it just got tighter.
After all of that work, once we were inside it took a little under fifteen minutes to ascertain that there was no threat, no leads, not even any life support. Judging by the level of tech, the facility seemed to have been abandoned around the time of the clone wars. 'The signal' that Com-Scan so astutely picked up, was an astromech droid that had been left on charge. It wasn't 'on', just on charge. Its memory had been wiped, it didn't even have an operating system. Just a relic, un-needed equipment, left behind for someone else to take care of. We made sure there was nothing of any value in the facility (there wasn't), then returned to The Executor with Bax's body. After submitting three separate reports (two of those in triplicate), I pulled some strings to let the 501st go down to the gunner bays and have some target practice on the rock. I hope that Bax was watching.
Fast forward a month, and Vader's on the same record again. A planet in the Hoth system's got a facility that's generating an energy shield, and because the Empire's outdated records show nothing for that planet, Vader's got it in his bonnet that this is where the Rebellion is hiding. A fairly sizable political/terrorist movement, operating out of a refrigerated warehouse. Well, fine, let's look into it. After all, I must obey "my Lord". Even though, I might add, that he has no military ranking whatsoever. He's essentially Palpatine's lapdog. And although The Emperor grows ever more eccentric, having this lout lead an operation to hunt down our enemies is akin to letting a child perform delicate surgery with a hammer.
I just heard bones crack. Odd. Didn't feel them, just heard the noise reverberating from my mouth.
Yes, I ordered the fleet to drop out of hyperspace close to the planet. I don't have time to waste sneaking up on an empty base, just to illustrate the point that this obsession of his has gotten out of hand. What I do have, is enough AT-AT Walkers to destroy that shed and anyone foolish enough to still be in it by the time we get there. I get the feeling I won't be leading that assault, though. I wonder who he'll get do do it? Probably Veers. I have a lot of time for Veers, I like his style. Ambitious, but he has the history to back that up.
Black spots in my vision. So he's taking it all the way. Although he usually does, I've seen it enough. This is humiliating for everybody.
So I suppose this is it. He's talking, I can tell by the way his helmet's moving, but I can't hear what he's saying. I can't hear anything over the roaring of the blood in my ears. And that face. I can just make out the highlights of the mask in all the other blackness. Not the last thing I wanted to see, but this was bound to happen. Oh well, it's all someone else's problem now.
Just a relic. Un-needed equipment. Left behind for someone else to take care of.
...Did I leave my mouse-droid on charge? Oh don't be flippant, Kendal, that's what got you into this mess.
This post is dedicated to the late, great Michael Sheard. You can read more about him here. Admiral Ozzel's twitter stream can be found at @AdmiralOzzel. On the whole, it's a lot more lighthearted than this blog entry.
DISCLAIMERS: • ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Photos and videos appearing in this blog post are for informational and reference purposes only, and no ownership of copyright is claimed or implied by me. The intellectual and physical copyright of such material belongs to its creators and owners.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organizations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
