Thursday, 11 August 2011

206: Review - Captain America (Third Pass)

Captain America: The First Avenger poster

Captain America (3D)
10th August 2011. Location: Cinema

C/A is the first film this year to get me to the flicks three times to see it.
I don't have much more to say about it, so I made you a picture instead. Is that okay?

Captain America: The First Avenger

I also had some thoughts about that scene near the end of the movie...


ROGERS: Agent Carter? Is that you?

CARTER: Yes, Steve are you okay?

ROGERS: Schmidt's dead.

CARTER: ...and the plane?

ROGERS: That's not quite as simple. I'm going to have to bring her down in the sea.

CARTER: No! Steve, there's got to be another way!

ROGERS: Not with the amount of ordnance I've got on board. I'm headed straight for New York, and at the speed I'm going, there's not much time...

CARTER: Why are you headed for New York?

ROGERS: Because that's what the plane's navigational system tells me...

CARTER: But there were three big flying bombs in the hold of the plane, and one of those had "New York" painted on in big white letters, remember? If Schmidt was going to detonate that in New York, why would he fly his jet there at the same time? There'd be nothing but rubble at best, and lethal radiation at worst. Given that his jet's going to be faster than the propeller-bombs, he'd probably get there before the bomb, just in time to get blown up. And where's he going to land in New York? He's already proved that his super-jet needs a runway.
If anything, it'd make more sense for him to go to Washington, the seat of government, and try to strongarm a negotiation with the president, surely?

ROGERS: Look, never mind that, I'm putting the plane down in the sea-

CARTER: Anyway, why are you still headed to New York? Why don't you just turn the autopilot off?

ROGERS: ...the auto-

CARTER: Yes. The old-fashioned flick-switch clearly marked "Autopilot". The one that Schmidt flicked when you were having that zero-g fistfight earler. There was a close-up shot and everything.

ROGERS: Well, obviously I'm taking the jet off autopilot in order to bring it down early. Do you think I'm stupid or something?

CARTER: If the autopilot's off, then why can't you just take the plane a bit further? Go past New York and down into the midwest where it's all farmland and that.

ROGERS: Statistically, I'm still more likely to kill some people by doing that. And I'm more likely to be able to get a soft-landing by skimming into the sea, I think.

CARTER: Fair point. And you're definitely taking it down into the sea, yes?

ROGERS: Well, now you mention it, there are some ice floes directly underneath me. I might try and land on one of those?

CARTER: Looking at my map, and bearing in mind you're flying from the Austrian Alps to the West Coast of America, I'd imagine that's Canada. Although from the scene at the start of the film, I was led to believe it was the Arctic Circle. Either way, you should have plenty of time to think of another course of action.

ROGERS: Not... at... the speed... I'm... going!

CARTER: Well, that would certainly explain why a transatlantic flight seems to have taken you about eight minutes, given that we've been with you from the moment of take-off. In fact, now I mention it, where's this control-base I'm sitting in? Is it the Hydra base? Because eight-minutes ago I was in a car hanging off the edge of a runway in the Austrian Alps, and now I'm at a control console which I'm surprisingly familiar with.

ROGERS: Well if it's the Hydra base, where are all those troops that were giving it the Hi-De-Di with the Red Skull earlier? There were thousands, and only about four made it into this jet.

CARTER: Yeah, convenient isn't it? If I am at the Hydra base, it would explain why I'm able to have a radio conversation with the jet. Although it wouldn't explain why I can't track your movements and pass the co-ordinates on to Howard Stark, who'll be unable to find you when you crash.

ROGERS: Fuck it.

CARTER: Don't say 'fuck', it's a certificate 12A!

ROGERS: Erm... as I recall, Super 8's a 12A, and that's got a fuck-word in it. Just the one mind. We've had three now. Fuck. Four.

CARTER: It's all got a bit meta hasn't it? Do you think people are still keeping up?

ROGERS: I wouldn't worry about it too much, this bit won't make the final cut.

CARTER: What about the blog readers?

ROGERS: It's okay, they probably stopped back at the bit about the autopilot.

CARTER: I know I did.

ROGERS: So if I crash and freeze in the ice, am I going to see you in the future, as a teary 90yr old woman?

CARTER: I doubt it. It'd be a bit 'Goodnight Sweetheart', and we're running at 2hrs as it is.

ROGERS: Oh, okay. Anyway, I'm superhuman, and I'll almost certainly be able to survive a plane crash at this velocity. I don't even know the meaning of the word 'hubris'.

CARTER: Hmmm. So I'll see you at the Lamb & Flag, a week on Saturday, yeah?

ROGERS: Okay, then. But I'll warn you now, I can't dance when I'm sober, and I'm not going to drink the---

Static issues from the radio. Agent Carter begins to cry.
Fade to black.



• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.

• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organizations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

No comments:

Post a Comment