Friday, 30 May 2014

Review: Blended

World of Blackout Film Review

Blended Poster

Cert: 12A / 117 mins / Dir. Frank Coraci
WoB Rating: 2/7

On several occasions throughout Blended, Adam Sandler appears to be genuinely inconvenienced that Warner Bros have scheduled a film-shoot in the middle of his budget-deductable holiday. He mopes from scene to scene, each faux-outraged face and forced sheepish grin becoming a mirthless parody of the role that he's the last person to finally get bored of. Between them, Sandler and Barrymore have now traded in any remaining goodwill they built up with The Wedding Singer and 50 First Dates, and are going through the motions in a shamelessly mechanical screenplay full of telegraphed callbacks and Playful Stereotyping™.

Oh, and if you're going to have recurring gags, you need to make sure they're actually jokes to begin with, not just "Woman giggles and shakes breasts. Again".

The natural lifespan of this sort of film is 93 minutes, but Coraci drags the whole sorry affair out to just shy of two hours while the audience get bored waiting for the perfunctory ending. By the time Sandler sings a cutesy ukulele-backed song with the kids over the end credits, you'll be wishing the lions in the safari-sequence had turned on the Jeep-full of lunch that was watching them.

Awkward moments! Sassy kids! A-hole exes! Bitchy best friends! Makeover-reveals! Cameo roles for all the people who had cameo roles in previous films! A bit of pathos (she's dead, you see)!

You've seen it all before; you've seen it all better. A lazy film for a lazy audience.
Fuck it, if Sandler's not going to act like he's interested, I don't see why I should.

Is the trailer representative of the film?
Oh yes.

Did I laugh, cry, gasp and sigh when I was supposed to?
I did not.

Does it achieve what it sets out to do?
The sad part is that it probably does.

Pay at the cinema, Rent on DVD or just wait for it to be on the telly?
Just go away.

Will I think less of you if we disagree about how good/bad this film is?

Will I watch it again?
No. No, I won't.

Is there a Wilhelm Scream?
There isn't.

And if I HAD to put a number on it…

And my question for YOU is…
It still looks better than the Mrs Br*wn's B*ys film though, doesn't it?

• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

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