Thursday, 4 May 2017

Review: Their Finest

Their Finest
Cert: 12A / 117 mins / Dir. Lone Scherfig / Trailer


A TOP TEAM OF Tinsel-Town technicians has been furiously working against the clock to bring Bill Nighy safely out of auto-pilot, it has been revealed. The alarm was raised during the British charmer's latest gentle-drama, Their Finest, in which onlookers had noticed his trademark head-flick was more pronounced than usual, and his deadpan wryness had been recycled from almost every other performance he's given over the last twenty years.


Hollywood boffins were hoping to avert disaster by relying on the film's co-pilot, Gemma Arterton, to steer the film to safety until they noticed that the Tamara Drewe protégé was also coasting unblinkingly along, and at an alarmingly earlier point in her career. Further inspection revealed that the Nighy model actually has no other setting, an issue which has been raised with its manufacturer.


The Surrey-born thespian's love of low-maintenance comedy roles has been common knowledge to industry insiders since his breakthrough appearance in Love Actually, in which his quasi-absent minded persona was juxtaposed into a faded rock star for comic effect. But since Richard Curtis was ostensibly left in charge of the star's appearances, critics and audiences alike are worried that comedy/drama dual-carriageway of Bill's acting career will soon merge into a single-lane ring-road. But with no exits.

Concerns about Nighy's ability to appropriately choose roles were voiced during the star's previous comedic outing, Dad's Army, in which the veteran actor completed a 100 minute character cover-version without once performing as anyone other than Bill Nighy™. When asked if he could justify making these choices in the 21st century, the 67yr old reportedly replied "Yeah, but the money..?".


Meanwhile, BBC Films has claimed they have no choice but to let the 117-minute litany of earnest tweeness and irony-free faux spiritual propaganda run its course, hoping for as few casualties as possible in the process. The corporation's legal team has since admitted that Their Finest's theatrical May release-date will will ensure that the subsequent DVD has dropped to around £3 in time for next year's Mother's Day in-store displays, a position it will then inhabit permanently.

One studio insider told us "I don't know what we'll do if Bill Nighy actually crashes this time. Well, other than offer his planned future roles to Jim Broadbent. Obviously."

So, watch this if you enjoyed?
My Week With Marilyn, Singin' In The Rain, Inglourious Basterds, Atonement.

Should you watch this in a cinema, though?
Not unless you need to see the film immediately.
It's sort of a Sunday-afternoon-DVD, to be fair

Does the film achieve what it sets out to do?
Just about, although I suspect it's taking massive liberties with the actual events which inspired it to create a neat story (not completely un-ironic considering the story is about a film company taking massive liberties with actual events to create a neat story).

Is this the best work of the cast or director?
No, but this is a strong cast, to be fair.
Despite my sarcasm

Will I think less of you if we disagree about how good/bad this film is?

Yes, but is there a Wilhelm Scream in it?
There is.
It's slowed (and therefore pitched) down a little, but it's there

Yes, but what's the Star Wars connection?
Level 2: In case you hadn't picked it up, Bill Nighy is in this film. No, really.
He was also in Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest alongside Keira 'Sabé' Knightley.

And if I HAD to put a number on it…
It's actually not a bad film, but it's slightly forgettable, completely twee and infuriatingly self-satisfied. And I just couldn't give Nighy a free ride on this one.

• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

1 comment:

  1. Heh. Bill Nighy will always be the faded boozy theatre actor/reluctant sleuth Charles Paris to me. And if that part wasn't written for him, it should have been. It sounds like he's taken to being Paris on the screen too.