Thursday, 4 December 2008

6. Someone's crying, Lord... RSVP.

CAUTION: Yen's blog contains harsh lanugage and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.

I don't really get that whole "kumbaya" thing, and it's been bothering me for a couple of weeks now.

Accoring to the internets (because no-one at work knows), 'Kumbaya' means "come by here", as a summoning or request to a deity for assistance. Which would be fine if the song was a general cry for help from the woes of the world, but it's quite clearly not.

Someone’s crying, Lord, kumbaya. Someone’s crying, Lord, kumbaya.
Someone’s crying, Lord, kumbaya. O Lord, kumbaya

(Did I mention it's a little repetitive?)

So someone's crying. And this is the lyricist's way of saying "Dear God, this fella here's clearly having a hard time in this world you've created. He's lacrimating fluid from his eyes, which is indicative of either physical or emotional pain (you should know, you designed the system). I really think it'd be the decent thing if you stopped by and maybe had a word with him, explaining that it's all part of The Plan (Earth 1.0) etc. Cheers God, Me."

This'd be fair play in itself. It's a selfless request for the easing of another's torment and/or discomfort. Then it gets a little weird...

Someone’s laughing, Lord, kumbaya. Someone’s laughing, Lord, kumbaya.
Someone’s laughing, Lord, kumbaya. O Lord, kumbaya

So someone's laughing. And..? Are they seriously asking God to come round just because someone's enjoying themselves? He's a busy deity, y'know. He's terraforming planets you've never even heard of, and working out an operating system which balances cause-and-effect and mathematics with free-will. He hasn't got time to call round just because you've told your mate a really good joke and you think He should hear it first-hand. Maybe this "someone" is just watching a sitcom, and is enjoying the hilarity of the situation arising in one of the scenes? Well, I think God KNOWS because he made that sitcom possible. Inviting Him round to show him something he essentially MADE is a bit of a waste of time, don't you think? It's timewasting appointments like this that waste precious Creative time and have resulted in the waiting list we've now got! Could you see the Practice Nurse instead?

Or maybe the 'someone' is laughing at a puppy with a leg missing. Or maybe it's Rod Stewart (or Kelly Jones) laughing at a blind man crossing the road. Or someone enjoying a Jim Davidson gig. Either way, informing God that "someone" is misusing the Gift of Laughter for callous purposes is tantamount to being a Grass. You may THINK you've got the moral high-ground, but none of us appreciates it. It's the exertion of free-will, no matter how wrong you think it is.

The song continues along a similar rambling vein with "someone's singing" and "someone's praying".
Singing, so what? Loads of people sing. "Someone's auditioning for X-Factor when they clearly shouldn't be" would be more appropriate. And as for "Someone's praying, Lord"... it's God's JOB to listen out for that kind of thing, you don't need to tell him! You wouldn't burst into the Doctor's office mid-consultation, and exclaim "he's got a bad arm!".

I'm starting to see why God allows bad things to happen to people who believe they have the best of intentions...

• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.

• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organizations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

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