Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to assess whether Henry Cavill's non-plot-specific facial hair as a new supporting character in the sixth film of an ongoing franchise was really worth making a laughing-stock of history's most iconic superhero*1. Oh, you didn't think I'd forget, did you Paramount? Hahaha mate, nobody's forgotten…
Anyway, that's all water under the Parisian catacombs now as Tom Cruise's more 'sensible' action-vehicle, Mission: Impossible, roars back into our cinemas for another globe-trotting installment. Old faces return and new ones are thrown into the mix as the stakes are raised and Ethan Hunt has to save the world from twin-nuclear armageddon*2 at the hands of a crazed messianic terrorist.
And as jaded/cynical as I've become with the M:I franchise, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a good time with Fallout. On both writing and directing duties, Christopher McQuarrie wears his cinematic heart on his sleeve with nods to other classic movies*3, as well as tying in details from the previous Missions: Impossibles. Despite a massive reference to the first*4 movie in the series (presumably a character-downpayment on future episodes), this is a recipe for an action-cake with espionage-icing, rather than the other way around. Although to be fair, that's been the case since John Woo's sequel in 2000, anyway.
Mission Impossible: Fallout is the kind of film where every twist, turn and sleight-of-hand are telegraphed at least five minutes in advance. The kind of film where spies who furtively meet in Paris are required to do so at the foot of the Eiffel Tower. The kind of film where firearms (small and massive alike) have absolutely no recoil, and high speed vehicle crashes are walked away from with a limp which disappears by the next scene. The kind of film where not only is there a ticking-countdown timer ending, but Simon Pegg and Ving Rhames literally mansplain this to their fellow secret-agent, Rebecca Ferguson. The kind of film where, five minutes later, Pegg explains it again. The kind of film where, two minutes later, Rhames feels the need to vocalise to everyone around him that the countdown has now begun (while we're looking at the timer every third shot). The kind of film where the timer becomes a heavy handed metaphor for the entire screenplay.
But it's still fun. Great fun.
Although they're bringing little new to either the series or their own CVs, the cast are on reliably solid form here. They're who you expect them to be, and they're good at that, at least. Cinematographer Rob Hardy ensures Fallout is beautifully shot, although it's arguably far too glossy for its own good. The recurring lensflare and absolute lack of grit serves to remind the audience that they're on a very expensive and ultimately safe ride. Elsewhere, Lorne Balfe's powerful score drops in just the right amount of the classic signature tune, and keeps the action rolling forward.
And Paramount have done that thing where they make a sixth Mission: Impossible movie, and in this one they even have Ethan Hunt mention the UK's foreign intelligence service MI-6, and yet they don't just call it 'MI:6 Fallout'. I'm old enough to remember the Mission: Impossible II cinema foyer-stands which branded it 'MI-2000' (although I never saw this on anything else*5). Perhaps Ian Paramount thinks he had his fingers burnt with that one..?
Let's be honest here, the last three Mission: Impossible films.
For sheer, bloody-minded entertainment value alone, yes it is.
As much as I enjoyed Fallout, I think it'll lose a lot on the journey to the small screen.
*1 And feel free to discuss among yourselves of course, but the answer is no. No, it wasn't worth that. In fact, while the style itself is the bane of makeup technicians and continuity advisers the world over, Cavill's facial-stubble changes length and density throughout Fallout anyway, often during single scenes. So now two characters look inherently ridiculous because of one moustache. Well played, Paramount… [ BACK ]
*2 "Hey Chris, that idea you had about the nuclear bomb at the end of the film? I watched that American Assassin at the weekend and they had one of them in that."
"…well Terry, we'll fucking well have TWO nuclear bombs then, won't we? Haha! TWO! HAHAHAHA!" "But you've written in two timed-bombs within about 100 feet of each other. Surely the first one will just set of the second anyway? And why not just make one big one which would have the same effect?
"…fuck off, Terry."[ BACK ]
*3 Although I'm fully aware that this could just be how my brain works, Fallout opens with a dream-sequence which dares the audience not to think of Sarah Connor's nightmare in Terminator 2. We then move onto what is basically Ozymandias' scheme from the movie-version of Watchmen, facilitated by the stolen plutonium cat-and-mouse from Back To The Future. And if not for the short release-date differential, I'd swear that Ethan grinding the truck to a halt between two walls was a quick nod to the Corellia-chase in Solo. Hell, at one point Ethan's lying in a bed at a medical centre as he looks weakly up at Ilsa and pleads "No, I'm sorry…", and I thought Chris McQuarrie was going to bring us a tension-breaking homage to Shaun of the Dead… [ BACK ]
*5 Seriously though, do I have False Memory Syndrome on this one? I swear to god that the promo-displays in Dreamland Cinema in Margate said "MI-2000", because the Millennium was still a bandwagon thing even six months into the year. And now I can't seem to find any online record of this happening. Did I make this up because I have some sort of pathological need for tacky marketing campaigns which date incredibly badly? [ BACK ]
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
The Premise: When his daughter Margot (Michella La) suddenly goes missing, David Kim (John Cho) finds himself desperately poring through her Digital Footprint™ in a bid to uncover clues as to her whereabouts. As California Detective Vick (Debra Messing) leads the police investigation to locate Margot, the country's media and its audience of millions looks on…
The Methodology:Searching utilises the same premise as 2015 horror movie Unfriended, in that everything presented to the audience is ostensibly viewed through computer screens, Face Time conversations and CCTV footage. The film draws heavily on the spirit of the digital age, showing both the hazards and benefits of online life*1.
The Good: Earnest, thoughtful and dynamic performances from John Cho and Michelle La. Especially given that Cho is quite often alone in a room, acting on direction only. The 'screen technique' will seem heavy handed to audience members who use computers frequently, but it's a solid way of dropping details into the story which would otherwise be spoken by characters in a thoroughly clunky manner.
The Bad: The film's main selling-point - the fact that everything we see is effectively a digital reconstruction - is simultaneously the most interesting and annoying thing about it. Unlike that horror movie I mentioned, Searching doesn't occur in real-time, and we're treated to near constant 'Ken Burns' panning and zooming, which renders the laptop displays almost pointless. Additionally, the film switches between various devices and there are gaps in the narrative as it spans several days. Everything we need to see is covered, but while the details are there, quite often the dialogue-free reveal of them means they're way over explained. And the third-act reveal is telegraphed to the point that when the audience arrive in the theatre before the film, there are still workmen digging holes for the posts to go in…
The Ugly: This is the cinematic equivalent of a D*ily M*il story: Computers are complicated, secretive and inherently terrifying! You have no idea what your children are really up to because they all speak this secret language and oh my god sometimes people use pseudonyms and buy the drugs!! And it's horrifyingly easy to find stuff out about people online and hack someone's accounts, but if you've been uploading family videos of your child to YouTube for the last decade, that doesn't count at all. Oh, and interfering with an ongoing police investigation is obviously fine, too. Don't call in your evidence mate, just go round twatting people like any unhinged vigilante would.
The Verdict: If it wasn't for the central storytelling technique of relaying all events through digital displays, this would be a Liam Neeson film but with less punching. Some of it works, some of it doesn't, but at its narrative core, Searching is a completely unremarkable thriller…*2
It's not really designed to be watched in a cinema, but that's entirely up to you.
Stream it, because viwers other than the hardcore fans of John Cho and Debra Messing will have little need to re-watch in the future.
Good, often great, but not best.
Debra Messing almost goes full-pantomime, though...
We might.
There isn't.
Level 2: John Cho's in this, and he was in that Star Trek with Simon 'Dengar' Pegg.
*1 According to what we see, the family were using Windows XP right up until 2015. They deserve everything that happens to them, frankly. [ BACK ]
*2 It's silly-season in cinemas right now of course, and special entertainment thanks tonight must go to the four… ahem… 'senior' patrons who took a full two minutes to get from the foyer into the screen-corridor, as they apparently have no idea how the new-fangled concept of 'tickets' works (they were going to see Mamma Mia 2). I don't expect everyone to be as au fait with the cinemagoing process as me of course, but still. Extra bonus points go to the completely separate but equally befuddled quartet, who waited until the BBFC card displayed the details for 'Searching' before realising they'd come into the wrong screen (they were meant to be seeing Mamma Mia 2). Cinema staff: my heart goes out to you good folks right now. [ BACK ]
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
After honing his gruesome quill on 2007's The Orphanage, Sergio G Sánchez's first feature-length offering is an unevenly pleasant surprise. Predominantly younger casts can be a challenge, especially in the horror genre, but George MacKay, Anya Taylor-Joy, Mia Goth and Charlie Heaton make for a formidable line-up, with the 9yr old Matthew Stagg threatening to steal their thunder at any moment.
The Secret Of Marrowbone has been slightly mis-marketed as a horror movie when it's closer in tone to a Victorian macabre thriller (the trailer is particularly disingenuous). The inevitable jump-scare sequences are efficient in their own way, but are by far the least interesting aspect of the film. But what really sells this is the aforementioned cast, often just playing off each other and the creaking, rotting sets.
Try not to dwell to long on the real-world mechanics of various plot points, though. Best approached as a ride to be enjoyed than a destination to be second-guessed, Marrowbone is a well-made film of a slightly unsatisfying story. But come for the performances and atmosphere, and you won't go home empty-handed...
This has the feel of The Others, The Awakening and the Famous Five on glue.
Yes, but you won't lose too much by watching it at home.
It is.
George MacKay and Anya Taylor-Joy are always great value for money, and continue to be so here.
Given its lukewarm reception elsewhere, that's a possibility.
There isn't.
Level 2: Anya Taylor-Joy is in this, and she was in The VVitch with Ralph 'Garmuth' Inseson and Kate 'nameless First Order monitor' Dickie.
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
Skyscraper (3D / SPOILERS)
Cert: 12A / 102 mins / Dir. Rawson Marshall Thurber / Trailer
This is a film which features an innovative tech/real-estate project overseen by a hubristic billionaire. He gathers a group of experts (one of whom has their young family in tow) to give them the grand tour and get the insurance signed off before opening to the public. This is going well until it transpires that a disgruntled employee has sold out his boss to a rival, has hacked the security systems and ends up dead while the guests and organisers alike are trapped in the chaos, fighting for their lives as the whole thing goes to hell around them.
I thought Skyscraper would be Die Hard With A Wooden Leg, but it turned out to be Vertical Jurassic Park instead. So don't make assumptions, kids.
I won't bother summarising the plot, it's all very much in the trailer, there*1.
Yes, it's the Summer so this is Action Flick 101, and Dwayne Johnson continues his trend of accepting jobs without fully reading synopses in Rawson Marshall Thurber's concrete-shattering opus. The action may take place in Hong Kong, but his is a piece of entertainment in the most American of traditions*2.
The end result is nowhere near as awful as it could have been, but so staggeringly average that it feels like a criminal waste of its $125m budget. The film's central location, The Pearl, is apparently 220 floors of relentlessly telegraphed cliché, built on foundations of exposition, callbacks and deus ex machina. The cinematic equivalent of a dot-to-dot book, the story lurches from one set-piece to the next like a 260lb ex-SWAT agent with a prosthetic limb. Despite his considerable screen presence and innate likeability, even Dwayne Johnson can't make this interesting*3.
And because it's a 12A, none of the point-blank gunshots have exit-wounds. A trivial point I know, but I'll bring it up anyway. I thought at one point this might have been the most clockwork genre-flick I'd seen all year, then I remembered Den of Thieves.
But if you've never seen any action movies ever, this will be great.
Die Hard.
Yeah, I know everyone's saying that.
That's because it's inescapably true.
Oh, watch it in the cinema if anything, because this will lose most of its impact on the journey to your small screen. And bravely clinging on to a rapidly-dying format, you'd perhaps think that the 3D would be utilised to showcase the vertiginous heights of the drama at the world's tallest building to better effect. But no, the extra dimension is used to make things darker, blurrier and with heavy ghosting of any point of light in the background..
Stream if you must, I suppose.
It's not.
We might.
There isn't.
Level 2: Neve Campbell's in this, and she was in that Scream 3 alongside Carrie 'Leia' Fisher.
*1 Although there's at least one major dialogue exchange in the trailer which didn't make it into the final cut. God knows how many test-edits of this film are in a cupboard at Universal somewhere... [ BACK ]
*2 As well as the genre standard of having a morally-untouchable hero who's an invalided service-veteran put in a perilous situation while providing for his young white-picket-fence family (this is basically a Mark Wahlberg movie), there's probably a separate review to be written about a Hollywood's gleeful presentation of a Chinese entrepreneur saved from European gangsters by American hetero-masculinity. But I'm too tired to dig that hole, frankly… [ BACK ]
*3 And seriously though, why would that massive screen be on, with the public ooh-ing, ahh-ing and gasping through a live feed (multiple camera sources apparently) of what is clearly an ongoing police/military emergency, being left to stand around at the foot of the world's tallest building as it burns and begins to collapse? [ BACK ]
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
After honing his quill on the likes of Iron Man 3 and MI: Rogue Nation, Drew Pearce's first feature length writing and directorial gig, Hotel Artemis, shows all the signs of someone destined for cinematic magnificence. Just not quite yet.
Set in 2028 riot-torn Los Angeles, this tale of an exclusive private hospital for criminals certainly has a strong hook, and the precision-casting of Jodie Foster, Sterling K. Brown, Sofia Boutella, Charlie Day, Dave Bautista, Zach Quinto and Sir Jefferidge Goldblum only serve to raise the stakes further. But that cast also raises the expectation, which is where the movie falters a little.
The players are all on top form (Jodie Foster especially, although this should surprise no-one), and the wardrobe, set and prop design are outstanding. Near-future tech papers over slight cracks in the story, offset by a driving score from Cliff Martinez and a retro 70s diegetic soundtrack.
But the bottom line is that the actual story itself is weak, because the central characters are chronically underdeveloped, because the film's about half an hour shorter than it really should be. Elsewhere, the script is littered with clunky, needless exposition that attempts world-building (and sequel-baiting) before it's even finished the walls around the characters, and the violence (of which there is a substantial amount) feels nerfed down to levels of... well, a Mission Impossible movie, frankly.
Despite this, Hotel Artemis is still great fun and very promising, but there's little to get your teeth into…
Everyone should feel very proud of what they've made, here.
Nope.
Nope.
Level 2: Sterling K. Brown is in this, and he was in that Black Panther along with Lupita 'Kanata' Nyong'o, Forest 'Gerrera' Whitaker and Andy 'Snoke' Serkis.
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
