Review: The Kitchen

The Kitchen
Cert: 15 / 103 mins / Dir. Andrea Berloff / Trailer



Hell's Kitchen, New York, 1978*¹. The put-upon wives of three mobsters (Melissa McCarthy, Tiffany Haddish, Elisabeth Moss) find themselves struggling when their husbands are jailed following a failed store robbery. At first they decide to take up the reins of the business themselves, then the idea occurs that the ladies could be players in their own right. As their operation grows, they find themselves rubbing up other underworld figures the wrong way, and eventually decisions have to be made about how far each is prepared to go to assure their success...

POINT

Now. I've heard a few folks comment that the premise of this movie is a blatant rip-off of 2018's Widows, and I feel the need to point out that this is definitely not the case. The Kitchen is in fact based on the 2015 comic from DC/Vertigo, and that was a rip-off of 1983's Widows. Come on people, really. Flippancy aside though, this is closer in tone and structure to a sort of Grand Theft Auto '78, since they're not pulling off One Big Job but building a sprawling criminal empire.

And although the levels of intensity feel right, the setup for the central premise itself feels a little linear. "Hey, y'know we could do The Crime, right?" - "Shall we do The Crime?" - "Yeah, let's do The Crime!!". Structurally this isn't a million miles away from Hustlers, except here it's a fight for identity and survival, rather than entitlement (obviously there is a bit of entitlement). Also, the vintage soundtrack is better in this movie, even if the best tunes have appeared in numerous other soundtracks over the years).

PRISON

The central cast all do well with roles which don't tonally overlap too much, joined by Margo Martindale in full, glorious gangster-pantomime mode. Each of trio are individually flawed outside of their base criminal aspirations, with their own hurdles to clear before the credits roll. Two of our gang take to the life of crime like ducks to water, while the third still gives it one hell of a crack before becoming uncomfortable with the consequences of her new responsibilities. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Melissa McCarthy is far better at drama than she is comedy, even if she plays both almost identically*². And it turns out that the same appears to be true of Tiffany Haddish. Elisabeth Moss is great as always.

As well as the strong - borderline caricature - 1978 production design*³, we're treated to some fantastic establishing scenery shots courtesy of cinematographer Maryse Alberti and the effects team who brought them to digitally enhanced life. At times this feels a bit like an early Guy Ritchie flick (no bad thing) in that the police are mentioned, but fire a handgun a few times in broad daylight and they're nowhere to be seen. This isn't their manor, and the players in this tale don't take them seriously anyway.

BIG

The film drags a bit in its third act, and the whole thing ends up feeling like it could easily lose around twenty minutes. When the final plot tie-up arrives, it feels like something which has been dropped in because it's expected for the format, rather than the thing which has been driving the story all along. As escalating crime-sprees go, The Kitchen is a relatively nuts-and-bolts rendition, but one made with conviction and no small amount of style...



Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, BlacKkKlansman, The Godfather, Free Fire.



If you can, it's worth a punt.



Buy it, but maybe wait for the price to come down first.



Not particularly, but there are strong and surprisingly nuanced performances all round.



Unlikely, since while The Kitchen won't be for everyone, it'll be a difficult to movie to actively take against.



No.



Level 1: General Hux is in this (and whose deadpan comic timing is superb, by the way)





*¹ While obviously I'm aware that the title is location-specific, I can't help but feel that putting three women in a movie called "The Kitchen" in 2019 is playing into the wrong hands, somewhat. ^{[ BACK ]}

*² I'll be honest, a small part of me was hoping Melissa McCarthy would be dreadful in this so that I could say "If you can't stand The Heat... stay out of The Kitchen!!1!". Alas, that cheap pun doesn't apply because her turn here is absolutely solid. We can only play the cards we're dealt, right? ^{[ BACK ]}

*³ Mate, it's 1978 and no one mentions Star Wars? At all? It'd only been out for six months and was still massive. You have a scene in a street full of movie theatres and the most recognisable name you've got splashed on the hoardings is Grease? ...what do you mean 'this isn't a documentary'? ^{[ BACK ]}


DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

Review: Cars 3

Cars 3 (2D)
Cert: U / 109 mins / Dir. Brian Fee / Trailer



So the school Summer holidays are imminent, which means it must be time for a Pixar movie. Last year saw an time-passingly entertaining, if thoroughly unwarranted, sequel entry being released into the water, whereas 2017 brings us… yeah, you guessed it. Same*¹.

Cars 3, arriving six years after its forebear and eleven years after its originator*², follows the story of Lightning McQueen (voiced by Owen Wilson), a hotrod-red racing car who's beginning to realise he's past him prime as young up-and-coming contenders leave him crossing the finish-line in their wake. We meet old favourites from the previous movies, plus a slew of new characters, all animated and voiced in the inimitable Pixar style.

Nothing short of exquisitely animated (and I love that the sets and backdrops are now essentially photo-realistic), it's enthusiastically voiced and fairly solidly constructed for a target-audience of younger viewers. But ultimately, the whole thing is uninspiring, coming across as little more than a loosely-connected series of fast-cut track races. For a full on Disney/Pixar production, you know this should be more engaging on an emotional level. If anything, the most interesting thing about the film is how uninteresting a film which had seven writers can turn out to be. It's also a Disney movie which manages to have a tongue-in-cheek dig at saturation-merchandising, which is either very meta, or blissfully non-self-aware.

By no means Disney/Pixar's A-game, Cars 3 will keep your youngsters entertained for the duration of its run-time, at least. As a tale of mentoring, motivation and the inevitability and acceptance of ageing set in the sun-scorched desert, it's a bit like Logan for the under-10s.

Albeit with less claret. Obviously.

Cars. Cars 2.



Not unless your padawans are dragging you there.



Keep the franchise ticking over in a low-gear? Yes.



Nope.



Nope.



Nope.



Level 1: This film's got the voice of Major Derlin in it.






*¹ Although in defence of what I'm about to say in the rest of this review, beforehand I witnessed trailers for The Emoji Movie, The Nut Job 2, The My Little Pony Movie and a CGI thing where James Corden voices Peter Rabbit, all of which look fucking dreadful, so at least I wasn't sitting through one of those. ^{[ BACK ]}

*² In all fairness, 2013 and 2014 took a detour and brought us an unwarranted spinoff and its own unwarranted sequel, respectively. ^{[ BACK ]}

DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.