Review: Terminator 2 (3D)

Terminator 2: Judgment Day 3D
(spoilers, but I'm going to assume you've seen this 1991 movie)
Cert: 15 / 135 mins / Dir. James Cameron / Trailer

"It's certainly a phenomenon in all walks of life.
At one point you've got it, then you lose it. And it's gone forever…"

~ Simon Williamson, 1996.

The premise of Sick Boy's all-pervasive theory rang in my ears as I watched the original T2 movie. As a combination of nostalgia and enduring awe swirled around my mind on the 20th anniversary of the film's Judgment Day, it did not escape my attention that there is something to be learned here. No matter how interesting or well-intentioned the subsequent Terminator sequels (and TV spinoff) may have been, they have never recaptured the greatness displayed in the first two installments*¹.
And they never will.
Don't @ me.

Much like the first Terminator movie, I always seem to forget how utterly fantastic the sequel is until I'm watching it. James Cameron's 'reveal' of Arnie's character-role is nothing short of masterful and gets better with each viewing, with the absolute buy-in of the entire cast (plus we effectively get it twice - once with John's discovery and again with Sarah's). Many hold up Linda Hamilton's performance as Sarah Connor as the pinnacle of Strong Female Character™ portrayal*², but there's really so much more here. Afraid, unsure, neurotic, cruel and blisteringly angry. Hamilton is the prime example of why we need interesting characters, not strong ones. Edward Furlong's overacting hasn't aged particularly well, but you can't have everything.

The stereoscopic conversion of the film (the real reason for the screening, rather than the fictional anniversary of something which we've never seen actually occur) is beautifully executed, and the occasional glance-over-the-glasses reveals its constant use in this remastered version. Unfortunately, cinematographer Adam Greenberg didn't orchestrate his work to be watched in three dimensions, so other than background-depth it really adds very little. In fact, Terminator 2 is so visually engaging anyway that it's barely noticeable. The 3D certainly doesn't get in the way, at any rate, and if the end result is the crystal-clear print we now have, that's absolutely fine.

Every single bit as enjoyable as it was 26 years ago, T2 is an outstanding piece of work and a timeless lesson in action/sci-fi cinema. Although I knew that before I sat down to remind myself of it…

Random thought during the film: I like that they hired Don and Dan Stanton to play the hospital security guard for the scene by the coffee machine. As if the folks at ILM were like "Yeah, I know you want the guy to be looking at his robot double. But trust me, blue-screening it will look like Captain Mainwaring's brother in Dad's Army and we're too busy in here making the Silver Surfer Terminator. Why can't you just hire twins, or something..?"

One question, though: Why does the T101's internal readout have a decimal point for the number of human casualties? What constitutes a fraction of a death in the Terminator's eyes?



So I've made a list…
0.1 Tiredness and irritability
0.2 Hay-fever symptoms
0.3 Tickly cough
0.4 Dirt / grit in eyes
0.5 Lower-back pain
0.6 Nasty rash
0.7 Chinese burn
0.8 Stung by wasp
0.9 Scalded by hot milk

Then it's death…

The Terminator.



If you get the opportunity, hell yeah. Several cinemas have it playing through the week and into this weekend.



Yep.



It's definitely A-game.



Probably not.



There isn't.
Which is frankly ridiculous.



Level 2: Although by all rights I should really credit ILM's Dennis Muren and veteran stunt-performer Vic Armstrong as a level-1s, this film stars Linda Hamilton who was in 1984's The Stone Boy alongside Wilford 'Noa' Brimley.





*¹ Although it also didn't escape my attention that the same charge could be levelled at James Cameron's directorial career, but that's a discussion for another time... ^{[ BACK ]}

*² Second only to Sigourney Weaver's Ripley, of course. But Weaver excels for the same reasons as Hamilton, her strength only comes at the end of a rollercoaster of dramatic emotions, and even then is frequently punctuated by fear and doubt. ^{[ BACK ]}


DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

Review: Terminator Genisys

Terminator Genisys (3D)
Cert: 12A / 126 mins / Dir. Alan Taylor / Trailer

The doors of Cyberdyne Systems impressive headquarters burst inwards spraying glass and chrome over the figures already in reception. Sarah Connor looks on in grim worry as the T-800 Terminator unit javelins a 12-foot metal rod into the insane, mutated being which used to be her son, impaling him into the bank of monitors behind. "John Connor talks too much…" he quips in his Austrian accent, and the audience is inclined to agree. Except the audience had already reached that conclusion around 90 minutes earlier…

Yes, Terminator Genisys is here. And the fifth cinematic chapter in a sprawling multimedia franchise with a worldwide fan-base for 31-years-and-counting opened tonight to an expectant audience of 19 people*¹. James Cameron must be turning in his swimming pool.

This time we're taken right back to 1984 Los Angeles, to remix the beats of the original movie, once again manhandling a timeline which has been treated with barely-concealed contempt since the 2003-outing. From that point onwards, each new chapter has re-cast the protagonists (Arnie aside, obviously), and completely altered the characters themselves as a result. The most painful casualty here is Emilia Clarke, who proves herself to be a competent enough action heroine; she's just not 'Sarah Connor'.

Speaking of casting, how do you top hiring an Australian actor who hasn't got the charisma or gravitas to co-lead a Terminator film? Simple! You get two of them! Courtney and Clarke at least manage to keep the accents well under control, but that's about it, with stretches of grandiose dialogue that's not only woodenly delivered, but would still be completely out-of-character for Kyle Reese and John Connor even if it wasn't. And then there's poor old Matt Smith; stunt-casting in its purest form, they could have got the janitor to play that part.

The trailer is a fairly accurate bellwether of the film itself (although the shoehorned-in catchphrases aren't as jarring in the full movie). What director Alan Taylor brings us is around one-third homage to James Cameron's masterpiece, two-thirds scrabbling around on the floor looking for a direction in which to take the franchise. The fight/battle sequences are quite delightful, as are the lovingly re-created scenes from the first movie.

So much time is spent on bringing the audience a 12A action-blockbuster that screenwriters Laeta Kalogridis and Patrick Lussier seem to forget that the audience have met these characters before, so are expecting a little thematic continuity, if nothing else. Worst culprit (spoilers): at the film's climax, Sarah Connor is forced to destroy not only the hybrid monster which used to be the son she hasn't had yet, but also the T-800 surrogate-father who has protected her for ten years. She essentially kills her own father and son to save a future without either of them, and the script doesn't even acknowledge the emotional weight of this act.

Despite the horrendous early-scores which are creeping in, I didn't actively dislike Genisys, and I think the core screenplay is an intriguing concept. It's just poorly executed and hobbled by woeful miscasting and a horrendous script.

If anything, the film feels like it's trying a bit too hard to connect with its 1984 progenitor. Although after the po-faced mess of Terminator Salvation that's not necessarily a bad thing, but the events of 1991's classic Judgement Day are also wiped out as collateral damage. Hey, that's time-travel, right?

Not quite as awful as some would have you believe, Terminator Genisys would have been a perfectly acceptable addition to the canon had it been made in 1996, before the timeline got so convoluted. But y'know, it wasn't. Too little, too late.

Oh, and there's a mid-credits scene, if you're interested. FYI. Keep your 3D glasses out for it, though.



Not really, to be honest.



Rent it and watch it back-to-back with The Terminator.



In Jai Courtney's case, there's no such thing…



It doesn't.



Maybe a little.



There isn't.



Jason Clarke starred (perhaps the wrong word, admittedly) in 2014's Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes alongside Andy Serkis, due to perform Supreme Leader Snoke in The Force Awakens.







*¹ And I'm not kidding, they didn't even play the Arnie/Compare The Market promo beforehand. The one which has been running in cinemas for months, now. The one which has been subliminally promoting this very film. Is this so that we don't laugh at Arnold before Genisys starts? So that we remember to take his character more seriously?

DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

Review: The Terminator

The Terminator
Cert: 15 / 107 mins / Dir. James Cameron / Trailer



I'm a terrible sci-fi fan. I always forget how fantastic the first Terminator film is until I re-watch it. And sure, it's a shonky old ride, but all the more fun for it. Every voluminous 80s bouffant hair-do, every Louis Tussauds-esque rubber mannequin, every 15fps stop-frame animation sequence just makes me enjoy it more. If anything, I love the film because of its faults, not despite them.

Because while it's true that Judgement Day is a far better example of film-making, The Terminator is about phenomenal storytelling. There's a greater sense of menace to Schwarzenegger's T-800, as his dialogue (ie his ham-fisted witticisms) are kept to a bare minimum. The plot is explained but not earnestly over-egged, and the story takes place mostly (well, mostly) from Sarah Connor's point of view, so the audience only finds things out as she does. This lends an incomparable sense of urgency as she's pursued by her would-be assassin; we have to take her protector Kyle's word as much as she does. And as the net closes, as Sarah's dependence on those around her slowly - irretrievably - deteriorates, we're witnessing character development in its purest form. The final showdown, where a human woman is chased around a factory floor by a crawling puppet, is by far the most genuinely tense piece of cinema I've witnessed this year.

The Terminator is proof that as cranky as it is, the old tech is often the best.
Remember that.

If you can, do.



This should already be in your collection.



It's certainly up there, yes.



With every frame, yes.



Just maybe.



'Course there bloody is!.



Arnold Schwarzenegger starred in 2014's The Expendables 3, alongside Harrison 'Solo' Ford..







DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.