Review: Star Wars - Return Of The Jedi

Star Wars - Episode VI
Return Of The Jedi
Cert: PG / 135 mins / Dir. Richard Marquand / Trailer

The third film of the Original Trilogy has been a part of my life for four decades now, so in the absence of a local screening*¹ I happily made the pilgrimage to London's Empire Leicester Square to be in likeminded celebratory company. This was the first time I'd seen Return Of The Jedi in a cinema since its 1997 Special Edition release (although this 40th anniversary screening was of the 2011 Blu-ray edit), and the first time I'd ever seen it projected digitally.

Star Wars is - as ever - the gift that keeps on giving, and so it's taken me forty years to actually notice C-3PO's behavior here. Our hero - indeed our very gateway to the Galaxy Far, Far Away - is fluent in over six million forms of communication and as a professional diplomat is programmed for etiquette and protocol. Not only will Threepio be able to effortlessly converse in your particular language wherever you're from, but he knows your habits and customs too. No gaffes, no embarrassments, nothing lost in translation. This droid is literally built to be polite and accommodating in difficult situations.

So what does Goldenrod do when he arrives at the palace of Jabba The Hutt, a den of iniquity populated by the edgy, the paranoid, the insalubrious and the morally bankrupt, on a backwater hideout on a lawless world? What does See-Threepio bring to the table to diffuse tension, smooth feathers and put the Rebellion's grand plan into effect without the upsetting of these potential spanners in the Alliance's works, all of whom converse in Huttese as befits the infamously selfish and mercurial crime lord who holds their lives and livelihoods on a grubby thread?

He speaks English*². To all of them. Relentlessly. What an absolute fucking Brit.

That's it. No other notes.

*¹ Seriously though, it's the fortieth anniversary of a Star Wars film, and to celebrate Cineworld showed it for one day at 10 (ten) of their 103 UK cinemas. Odeon screened it at 9 venues nationally and Vue ran the film in 8. If this was a new flick you'd swear the studio wanted it to be eligible for the Oscars to had to play it in a cinema, but also didn't want to drive viewers away from the proprietary streaming platform they've invested all their money in. And that's before we ask why an anniversary screening is running on April the 28th then the film was originally released on the 25th of May. Unless there's going to be a wider re-release next month. In which case I shall go and see it again. I mean, obviously. ^{[ BACK ]}

*² Okay technically it's 'Galactic Basic', but the point still stands. He's even speaking in Basic when he's supposed to be translating between Ubese and Huttese. A very imperial attitude... ^{[ BACK ]}

DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

Review: Star Wars - The Rise Of Skywalker (fifth-pass)

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (fifth-pass / 3D / SPOILERS)
Cert: 12A / 142 mins / Dir. J.J. Abrams / Trailer


Previous reviews: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

This is your spoiler-break. Courtesy rather than necessity at this late point in the year, but as anyone who's shared a cinema with me will attest, I aim to be unfailingly polite. Unless the BBFC-card has passed but the end-credits haven't yet started, and the glow of a phone lights up someone's face when they should be watching the movie in which case I'm fairly sure it's legally permissible to snatch the offending rectangle out of their hand, quickly zip out of the auditorium and drop it in one of the toilets nearby before returning to the film, punching the owner right in the corridor if challenged*¹.

And with that delightful image settling over your consciousness, it's my duty to inform you (and not as forcefully as you're doubtlessly imagining) that the following article features plot-spoilers for Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker. And really big ones this time, as befitting the flow of the story itself. If you haven't seen the film yet, leave the rest of this until you have. Do watch it though, it's quite remarkable. Although you'll probably need to give it a couple of passes to get the most out. As previously noted.

But I digress...

So. When was Emperor Palpatine slotted into the puzzle of the Sequel Trilogy?

At what point did JJ Abrams, Rian Johnson or Kathleen Kennedy come up with the idea that The Emperor should make a comeback? Was this always the plan? Because watching The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi immediately before The Rise Of Skywalker, it really doesn't feel like it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm cool with Palpatine rearing his head once again, albeit surprised that it happened so early in the film and with so little build-up. But along with Starkiller Base from TFA, wheeling him back out of the cupboard as the ultimate weapon feels more like content-recycling than putting a new spin on an old feature, something you'd imagine Abrams would want to steer clear of at this point. While there was admittedly some disquiet over the direction of events in TLJ, no one was seriously clamouring for Darth Sidious to come back and restore order for the close of the trilogy.

Indeed, the whole subject of The Sith has been politely not mentioned until now. Mutterings persisted from 2015 that Supreme Leader Snoke could in fact be Sidious' old master, Darth Plagueis, having laid low for decades with his apprentice under the impression he'd been successful in his usurpation of the 'Master' role. With the game only beginning, Lucasfilm played that card close to their chests. But by the 2017, the official Visual Dictionary for The Last Jedi by Pablo Hidalgo (in conjunction with the LFL Story Group) seemed to draw some sort of line under things by stating that Snoke was categorically not a Sith.

'Star Wars: The Last Jedi, The Visual Dictionary', 2017 DK Publishing.

And of course technically, that hasn't changed with The Rise Of Skywalker. Snoke wasn't really a Sith. But for obvious reasons, the Visual Dictionary from two years ago didn't tell us that he's a genetically engineered meat-puppet on remote control to the somehow-resurrected Palpatine. And the more I think about it, the most obvious of those obvious reasons is that two years ago this wasn't the case. Just like Rey's true lineage, there are no seeds planted in the preceding episodes to suggest this reveal was coming down the track.

As much as I love the Star Wars films, old and new (in case you hadn't noticed), The Emperor's return serves to highlight one of the more pressing weaknesses with the Sequel Trilogy. That Lucasfilm have made it up as they went along. Although George Lucas variously stated that Star Wars was going to be twelve, nine or six movies (depending on which interview you read), he at least had a clear vision in his head/notepad at the time of beginning each trilogy. Even then, there are exceptions of course. Vader never 'became' Luke's father until The Empire Strikes Back script was in development, likewise the sibling relationship between Luke and Leia is unlikely to have been committed to paper at the time of Empire being made. But the core story - its ups, downs and turns - was in George's mind all along. And when those massive ret-cons do come along, shining a new light on previously-told events, they're that most precious of revelation: one which the audience wouldn't reasonably have guessed beforehand, but which in retrospect couldn't have played out any other way.

Palpatine's return at least scores half of this with ease. Over the past four years, both casual and hardcore audiences alike were not expecting to see the face of Ian McDiarmid back in the Galaxy Far, Far Away, at least not in such a central, prominent role. As for the pre-destiny of this, though? Well not quite. The Sequel Trilogy's third-act could easily have taken other paths toward the redemption of Ben Solo (because that was inevitable). Rian Johnson taught us to take our hands off the Star Wars rule book, to expect the unexpected.

So it should probably come as no surprise that the unexpected happened. Emperor Palpatine returned from the dark netherworld, seemingly as a lesson to us all that peace and balance are impermanent; a prize to be nurtured and cherished rather than attained then stuck on a shelf to show off. Or at least that's the lesson I'm going to take from it. And not a bad one as we close out this troublesome decade.

And in the end, it works. Because the resurgence feels tonally valid, because of the obvious vacuum left in Snoke's passing, and because the majority of the audience has already bought-in to whatever Mr Abrams has to offer*². Time will tell how smoothly this conclusion is received, as well as if this conclusion turns out not to be a conclusion after all - do not be surprised about this potential eventuality*³.

But hey, always in motion is the future...

The Star Wars.



Obvs.



Obvs.



Some possibly, not all.



That's possible.



There isn't.
Unless you've heard one.



Level 0: It is Star Wars.

...but if you wanted to go around the houses with it, The Rise Of Skywalker stars John Boyega, who was in 2013's Half Of A Yellow Sun with Thandie Newton, who was in Run Fatboy Run alongside Simon Pegg, who appeared in Ready Player One with Ben Mendelsohn, who rocked up in Darkest Hour as did Pip Torrens from Patrick Melrose, which also starred Harriet Walter who guested in the 'Survivor's Guilt' episode of Law & Order UK along with... John Boyega.





*¹ No wait, not legally permissible. What's that other thing which is like legally perm-... morally sound, that's right. Put your phone on flight-mode before the BBFC-card and don't look at it again until the end. Waiting for an important text or call? Wait at home. Bored during the film? Go home. 'Morally sound'. That's it. Not 'legal'. Probably. I always get those two mixed up. ^{[ BACK ]}

*² Because the people who disliked the left-field character turns of The Last Jedi were more into the retro callbacks of The Force Awakens, and the vast majority people who loved Rian Johnson's movie also appreciated the nostalgia of its more cinematically-safe forebear. Put bluntly, it's a small crossover of people in the Venn Diagram who'd still be going to see The Rise Of Skywalker, but would then complain going "No, we didn't want you to bring that much of the Original Trilogy back! We want things to feel the same without being actually the same, but still being the same please...". ^{[ BACK ]}

*³ Because as anyone who's been watching the studio's output knows, Disney really don't like putting numbers at the end of film titles. "Star Wars Episode 9" encourages franchise-fatigue and instantly excludes the casual viewer who knows they haven't yet caught up with 1-8. "Rogue One: A Star Wars Story" on the other hand is more likely to attract impulse-viewers and casual cinemagoers. With The Rise Of Skywalker however, Disney can use the "IX" to create a sense of occasion, also lulling people into believing they're going to be present for the 'final' Star Wars movie. Y'know, as if the House Of Mouse paid $4bn for the name just to shunt everything over to TV within half a decade. There will be more Star Wars movies, and soon. It's just that the publicity-machine is no longer constrained by that section of the timeline (even if Rogue One, Solo and The Mandalorian suggest they're terrified to leave it). ^{[ BACK ]}


DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

Review: Star Wars - The Last Jedi (fifth-pass)

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (fifth-pass / D-Box 3D / SPOILERS!)
Cert: 12A / 152 mins / Dir. Rian Johnson / Trailer


Previous reviews: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

I heard you don't like The Last Jedi. Good.

The Jedi themselves said it from the start, 'don't get too attached to shit'. But did you listen? The lightsaber which Rey uses to help cut down the Praetorian Guards? That's the same one Anakin used to murder a room full of children. It's not good or evil, it's just an object, a tool to be used as the wielder sees fit. Obi-Wan stressed its importance to Anakin, and now Anakin's son throws it away like a fork arriving with the soup-course. He was mistaken in this action of course, and that's one of the things you didn't like; having to re-evaluate your heroes. Star Wars: The Last Jedi is about re-evaluation. And change. I heard you don't like change. Good.

Really though, you shouldn't get too attached to shit. The idea that the old-school, one-thousand-generation order are the arbiters of truth and static wisdom in a changing galaxy? Well, we know how that turned out around fifty years before the time of TLJ. The idea that you knew where a Star Wars movie was headed before seeing the BBFC/MPAA card? Well, like I said; I heard you don't like The Last Jedi. The past of the monastic order order may be a done-deal, but the future isn't. And although The Force Awakens took a safe path in bringing audiences back to the Galaxy Far, Far Away, TLJ takes the steps its forebear probably should have in not only shuffling the deck, but playing with new cards altogether. I get that you were always going to be upset by this.

And although I certainly don't want to pull rank on any section of fandom, good. While certain restrained words posted on social media hold fast and true in principal, at the same time… no. If you're going out of your way to incoherently badmouth the film on social media*¹ and sign petulant petitions, you're not a fan of Star Wars. You may well be a fan of Some Of The Star Wars Films, but you're not a fan of Star Wars. The day I walk out of a cinema and 'hate' the Star Wars movie I've just watched is the day I hang up the lightsaber*². I still won't be signing a petition.

The Last Jedi is a film about change. About passing on the baton. Kenny Baker is no longer with us as Artoo, Chewbacca is played entirely by Joonas Suotamo this time round, and Anthony Daniels' Threepio has a distinctly supporting role*³. Two of our main, central heroes have bought the farm in-universe, and the third won't be around to film the next episode. This is a story about letting go of all you've been taught, and yet trusting The Force all the same. The path is uncertain, our heroes are fallible (more on that next time). We can trust that good will prevail, but it's going to have to really try this time round...

If The Last Jedi isn't what you expected, that's fine. It's an amazing film, deep into its own entrenched franchise, which makes the audience re-evaluate why they're sitting there. Yet at the same time, this is quintessentially The Hero's Journey. It's just not the hero's journey some were expecting. Or wanting. But if you don't get goosebumps watching a kid grasping a broom-handle and gazing into a night sky full of possibility, like millions of us did when we were eight years old, then you've missed the point of Star Wars and I can't change your mind.

I heard you don't like The Last Jedi. Good.

That means I'll have less trouble booking my seat for the Solo movie in May…

+ + + + +

Oh, and the D-Box was great as always, but I was a little surprised the film was playing to fewer than 20 people. Even on the last shopping-Saturday before Christmas, in a location which isn't exactly a 'pass-through' (the O2 arena), and in the earliest screening of the day. Still, no matter.



The Star Wars.



Yes.



Yes.



It's strong.
It's very strong.



That all depends on how wrong you are.



There is.



Level 0: It is Star Wars.





*¹ Start a blog, write a review. Write several reviews. Of the same film if needs be, or of different films. Share your reviews on social media, by all means. You want to hate what you've watched? Fantastic, just think about exactly why you hated it. That makes you examine your opinions on movies a lot more closely, trust me. No matter how concentrated your rage, I assure you that 140 characters isn't enough to adequately express it, and a signature on a petition (for which you will be widely and justifiably mocked) certainly isn't. ^{[ BACK ]}

*² I seem to come out of every first-pass of a Star Wars film unsure, whether I've indulged in spoilers or not. That's not that I don't love what I've just witnessed, just that I can't process everything in one sitting. It's only my ridiculous, self imposed blog-rules that dictate I type up a review for every separate showing I see. ^{[ BACK ]}

*³ And start bracing yourselves now because there's a distinct probability that next May's Solo movie may well be the first branded*⁴ Star Wars movie without an appearance by R2-D2 and C-3PO. I mean, Rogue One was pushing it, frankly. How small do they want us to think the galaxy is..? ^{[ BACK ]}

*⁴ The two Ewoks movies are a curiosity of course, as they were Lucasfilm-made (and clearly set on the same Endor as Return of the Jedi) but didn't feature the actual Star Wars branding until the 2005 DVD release, despite characters appearing in official encyclopaedia-type references until the 2012 'Legends' reboot. ^{[ BACK ]}


DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

Review: The Muppet Christmas Carol

The Muppet Christmas Carol
Cert: U / 83 mins / Dir. Brian Henson



And so, after a mere 21 years, I finally get to see One Of The Greatest Films Of All Time in a cinema! GET IN! So yeah, I was already pre-decided on this one (as well as already having two versions of it in the house), but it wasn't going to stop me braving the elements on a Sunday morn to watch it on the big screen.

Every single frame of The Muppet Christmas Carol is an absolute joy to watch, and it's great to see an audience full of youngsters and their parents totally rapt for the entire duration of the film (it was also good to see the young boy in the row in front having a good bawl into his mum at the end, while his younger sister didn't seem that bothered by the emotional impact of the film. It reminds me of the time my sister and I went to see E.T.*¹)

A lot of people have an 'it's not Christmas until I've seen…' movie and this is mine. As a rule, I enjoy most retellings of the story, but Henson's is the one which has me misty-eyed every time. Every. Time. It's also worth pointing out that for all the fun it has, the film is never disrespectful to the narrative or the ideals of the Dickens story, and is closer to the source text than many before or since. If you haven't seen The Muppets version yet (perhaps because it hasn't crossed your radar, perhaps because you think it'd be too dumbed-down), I can give it no higher recommendation. If you have seen it and you didn't like it; I'm afraid we can't be friends any more. My butler will show you out, good day.

Now, the only minor grumble I have about the film is still-missing number "When Love Is Gone", originally sang by Ebeneezer's fiancée, Belle, in the scene by the lake when she ends their relationship. It never made it to a theatrical version of the film, but was included in the original VHS release (read: my introduction to the film, in an age before DVD). It was removed because the studio didn't think the little ones would dig it. And to be fair, it does drop the film down a gear, particularly when you bear in mind that "Bless Us All" follows in a similar vein not too long afterwards. But not only does Belle's song add some much needed weight to the scene and to the Christmas Past segment of the film, it also sets up the music and lyrics of "When Love Is Found" in the finale. It seems crazy that such a powerful scene hasn't been reintroduced to the film yet, but hey.

As timeless as the story it's based on, The Muppet Christmas Carol should be on every festive watch-list. It's also quite possibly Michael Caine's greatest cinematic performance, but that's a ramble for the next time I see this in a cinema…

Yes.



Every time.



Every time.



As much as I loved seeing it at the cinema, it is a DVD with a cheeky sherry or two….



Absolutely.



Absolutely.



There isn't.

1. In the finale, when Scrooge barges into Fred and Clara's house with presents, does anyone else look at Steven Mackintosh's face and think "Charles, why have we got that cage!?"

2. Does anyone know the catalogue-number of the full-screen DVD version (which has "The Love Is Gone", as per the VHS edit)?
Thanks in advance.

*¹ 23 years old, I was! Eh? Is this thing on? No, you shut up.

DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.