Oh, hi. As with last time, I've made you some Skittlez character-posters, in lieu of actual words. That said, I'm half-way through drafting another set of nitpicky observations, and it looks like my local may well have stopped showing Rogue One after this weekend. In which case, I'll just have to post them up under their own steam at some point. But until then, pictures!
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I've got more of these to come, too. So there'll definitely be some sort of mop-up post to wring the last out of Rogue One.
In the words of Baze Malbus, "You're welcome…".
All of The Star Wars.
Yep.
It does.
It's a strong showing.
Nope.
Yep.
Level 0: It is Star Wars.
Although if you really wanted to go the long way round with it…
Rogue One stars Alistair Petrie, who appeared in the first episode of the 2013 TV drama The Escape Artist, as did a certain David Tennant, who of course headlined Casanova, along with Rose Byrne, who rocked up in 2004's Troy alongside Julian Glover, an actor who was in the 'Arthur's Bane' episode of Merlin, which also boasted Lindsay Duncan, who had a role in An Ideal Husband, a film that featured Oliver Ford Davies, who also starred in the 1997's Mrs Dalloway, along with Alistair Petrie from Rogue One…
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
Sometimes, you just know that the first-draft of a movie script was written in crayon. Also that no further drafts were considered necessary. Welcome to a film where the cinema staff performed IQ tests on patrons on the way in and out of the screening, to make sure no permanent cumulative damage had been done. Welcome to what is basically continuous chase/fight sequence, briefly punctuated by Toni Collette*1 pouting. Welcome to an actioner for viewers who find Vin Diesel's Fast & Furious movies "a bit complicated". Welcome to that performer's character flirting with every female on-screen while you bite off the inside of your own cheek. Welcome back, Xander Cage*2…
You know the drill, Diesel takes his shirt off and things explode for two hours, in lieu of a screenplay. That Paramount have seen fit to unleash this unasked-for threequel in the middle of January, should go some way to illustrating their confidence in it. It's a movie for a certain type of punter. This afternoon's screening played to eight people; all white, all male, all unaccompanied. Okay, I was in that bracket too, but hey.
The plot*3 centres around Cage and his expanding band of misfits working to recover a magic box being used by The Bad Terrorists™ to weaponise satellites by making them fall out of orbit (and apparently doing so to a metre-precise target-zone). Except obviously The Good Spy Agency™ is morally dubious, as well. And then people from The Bad Ones™ turn out to be The Good Ones™, and 45 minutes in none of it actually matters. One thing's for sure though, Vin Diesel plays A Good One. We know he's good because all of the women want to have it off with him, and pretty much all of the men can't help paying him compliments at every turn or getting punched in the face as a consequence. That is the film. Almost as good as that time Diesel made a full movie about his own Dungeons & Dragons character.
I'm not going to go into the myriad logical inconsistencies presented throughout the film's run-time; xXx doesn't deserve that level of analysis. Things might be different if it was All Good Fun™ at the same time, but this is lazy, reductive and staggeringly misogynistic, with Diesel's vacant grin being the icing on the already substandard cake. At least Assassin's Creed had the decency to keep a straight-face while it insulted everyone.
*1 Vin Diesel I understand, he just needs the attention. But what kind of gambling debts has the award-winning Toni Collette racked up that she's been roped into this absolute shower? At least she looks mortified at the lines she's been asked to read…
*2 I'm a little surprised that for the third Triple-X movie they didn't go for the title/tagline X3. The imminent Trainspotting sequel seems to have no problem repurposing Terminator's T2 abbreviation, and if it's okay to plagiarise something from a movie as great as that, then the third X-Men movie should present no moral conundrums, surely? And not to get too spoilerific, but Return of Xander Cage has had no problem at all in lifting Deadpool's "something stuck in your teeth" gag, as well as having Sam Jackson's agency-boss fake his own death for an end-of-movie funeral service in pretty much exactly the same way as Nick Fury did in Winter Soldier. No, seriously.
*3 I am of course using the word 'plot' in a sense every bit as loose as the screenplay itself. The word 'screenplay' also used loosely.
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
Oh, hello there. I've been to see Rogue One again, and rather than bore you silly with nitpicking and needlessly in-depth opinions, I've made you some Skittlez character-posters instead*1.
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More soon.
You're very welcome.
All of The Star Wars.
Yep.
It does.
It's a strong showing.
Nope.
Yep.
Level 0: It is Star Wars.
Although if you really wanted to go the long way round with it…
Rogue One features the mo-cap and voice work of Guy Henry, a face perhaps more familiar to UK viewers as a long-time Holby City regular, as is Hugh Quarshie who rocked up in 1986's Highlander alongside Clancy Brown, an actor who appeared in Cowboys & Aliens, as did a certain Harrison Ford, who headlined 1992's Patriot Games, a film which featured Pip Torrens, who also had a role in 2012's Anna Karenina alongside Domhnall Gleeson, who played one of the Weasley's in Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, a film that also starred Mr Guy Henry from off of Rogue One…
*1 You may well call that a cop-out, but I assure you that if you did you'd be very right indeed. Snarking aside, I haven't finished with Rogue One yet, there'll be more words in a future review.
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
"I'm one with the Force, the Force is with me. I'm one with the Force, the Force is with me. I'm one with the Force, the Force is with me."
~ Chirrut Îmwe, Jedha / Eadu / Scarif.
During its time on Jedha, Rogue One introduces us to Chirrut Îmwe and Baze Malbus, two former 'Guardians of the Whills' at the moon's now depleted Kyber Temple. During times of psychological or physical stress, both are heard to utter the above mantra*1, seemingly willing guidance from, and harmony with, the Force. Neither Chirrut or Baze are Jedi. And this is a phrase that we haven't heard the Jedi use in the cinematic saga, so far. Odd.
Up until 2016 (and largely discounting any ideas that Legends material had to say on the matter), being 'one with the Force' was the label put upon a Jedi retaining their sentience and identity after death, of joining with the living energy field to form a narrative bridge between the corporeal meat-space of the GFFA and the afterlife. I should say as well that the 'disappearing-trick' and the 'coming-back-trick' are two different things; Obi-Wan disappears quickly, Yoda disappears slowly, Qui-Gon doesn't disappear at all, and Anakin is still open to speculation. But they all came back, and at varying speeds of 'completion'.
When Baze and Chirrut chant "…I am one with the Force", are they trying to attain complete, transcendental immersion? Do they even know it exists? Was Qui-Gon the first to achieve this, or just the first in a very long time? Bear in mind he figured out how to do it after he died, and this was a surprise to Yoda, implying that even the Jedi Council don't know how it works. And if it's something the highest echelons of the order is unaware of (or have systematically forgotten over the years, despite still having notes on the Sith), then would the non-Jedi guardians of the Kyber Temple know about it? Then again, do those on Jedha have access to more ancient records that the cosmopolitan elite Jedi on Coruscant regard as quaint and archaic? Was this knowledge something that was lost over time, or even hidden to prevent dark-siders from exploring and adapting their own version; the spiritual equivalent of their synthetic lightsaber crystals*2?
Other than the Skywalker lineage, it was unclear in the Original Trilogy if the Force was something anyone could master with faith and commitment, or it if was a gift reserved for 'the chosen ones'. The Prequel Trilogy revealed it to be the latter, although not entirely uncommon (enough for the movement to muster a sparse galactic police-force). And while The Force Awakens concentrated more on the light and dark side in broader strokes, rather than Jedi™ and Sith™, Rogue One muddies the waters further with the Guardians of the Whills; non-Jedi beings who can still sense and react to the Force (or, as I said upon an earlier viewing, like someone who can read and understand a language, but can't pick up a pen to write in it). Baze Malbus and Chirrut Îmwe are (presumably) the last vestiges of the Force-Fanboys, unable to channel it fully, but willing to dedicate their lives in the service of those who can.
The more we've seen of the Jedi, the less the Force has been treated as an outright religion, more a set of guidelines and practices (closer in that respect to something like Buddhism). Warrior monks, the Jedi don't have to pray for the assistance or intervention or the Force, they just have to understand how it works.
However, the two former guardians we meet in Rogue One treat the Force as a doctrine (one very much Of The Faithful™, the other very much Lapsed™) to be explored through meditation and practice, with Baze Malbus specifically referring to Chirrut's mantra-recital as "praying". But the only other time it's been named this way (cinematically at least, I know it crops up in Rebels once or twice), was by Grand Moff Tarkin in A New Hope. "You, my friend, are all that's left of their religion" *3.
But for all this, 'religion' implies faith, which in turn implies a lack of evidence. And irrespective of Midichlorians at one end of the scale and Imperial propaganda at the other, the Force in the GFFA is a demonstrably real thing. And despite much grumbling on the subject (although not at Blackout Towers; I just grumble about the grumbling), Midichlorians are just a device used to illustrate that the Jedi - a non species specific group of beings who can actively use the Force - have a common predisposition on a biological level. Midichlorians don't ruin the Force*4, they're just a tell-tale trait that indicates potential, irrespective of training or mastery. Detection of the microscopic lifeforms is how the Jedi used to identify and select infants for taking to Coruscant, and it's undoubtedly in the Empire's arsenal for the eradication of the Jedi. Because as a Jedi on the run, you can keep your head down and mute your abilities, but you can't disguise your genetic makeup. If Vader has, as previously suggested, been in charge of the Empire's programme to exterminate the Jedi and propagandise them out of the public mind, why would the Empire allow Force-sensitive guards to live at the site of the Kyber temple? It is because as non-Force-controlling beings, they have a below-the-line Midi count, so aren't considered a threat?
With the Holy City of Jedha turned to rubble (along with all those who didn't make it to a transport in sufficient time), it looks as if we're not likely to have many of these questions answered. Short of novels and comics set in a time before the events of Rogue One, the Guardians of the Whills look to be as mysterious a sect as the Jedi Temple Guards, written about but scarcely seen in action. Chirrut and Baze are higher-profile characters of course, so I'm at least expecting a Marvel comics mini-series about them, but I wouldn't be surprised if that barely touches upon their metaphysical presence in the Galaxy Far, Far Away.
For a film with no Jedi, Rogue One raises a lot of questions about the Force…
All of The Star Wars.
Yep.
It does.
It's a strong showing.
Nope.
Yep.
Level 0: It is Star Wars.
Although if you really wanted to go the long way round with it…
Rogue One features Mr Jimmy Smits reprising his prequel-era role as Bail Organa, and he starred in 2009's Mother and Child along with a certain Ahmed Best, who performed voice-work in the 2006 Scarface videogame adaptation, as did Bai Ling, who's due to appear in the upcoming When The Devil Rides Out, as is the late Kenny Baker, who of course rocked up in 1980's Flash Gordon movie with Rusty Goffe, who featured in the 1981 film History of the World Part I in a cast-list alongside Bea Arthur, who starred in the 1988 Mickey's 60th Birthday, as did Jimmy Smits, from Rogue One…
*1 Well, kinda. Whereas Chirrut says "I'm one with the Force, the Force is with me", Baze Malbus' final return to form sees him uttering "The Force is with me, I'm one with the Force". Not a massive difference tonally, but if you were a local vicar and you swapped round two lines of the Lord's Prayer, you'd expect a raised eyebrow and a letter from the bishop, right?
*2 Although I'm fairly certain that the concept of Lignan synthetic lightsaber crystals has now been largely swept under the rug of Legends, although the narrative need for them in the secret society of Sith still applies. We also don't yet know how/why Kylo Ren's lightsaber splutters the way it does so there's hope yet, even if Lignan gets renamed to something different.
*3 And after the events of Rogue One, I want to see a new Special Edition of A New Hope where the Grand Moff refers to the 'religion' in his conversation with Vader, then we cut to a different angle and a CGI-Tarkin who looks directly into the camera, does an exaggerated wink and chimes "especially now that Jedha's a building-site, eh lads? EH??"
*4 Unless you're a giant child who covets impenetrable magic over science of course, in which case I'm delighted that you're still upset about it.
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
