Showing posts with label Taissa Farmiga. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Taissa Farmiga. Show all posts

Thursday, 31 January 2019

Review: The Mule





The Mule (Spoilers)
Cert: 15 / 116 mins / Dir. Clint Eastwood / Trailer



I've written before about the position many a movie-viewer unwittingly finds themselves in these days, with the awkwardness of separating the art from the artist. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes not so much. But the feat is perhaps at its most tricky when the presentation we see on screen appears to run a little too closely to preconceptions the audience already hold regarding its stars and creators.

Long story short, that business with the empty chair had already put Clint Eastwood on my watch-list. The flag-waving pompousness of entirely missing the point of a tragic story underlined his name in red. The Mule felt like it was going to be hard work.

STONE


Inspired by a true story (although even the film itself doesn't claim any level of documentary-type insight), Clint produces, directs and stars as 90yr old Earl Stone, a keen gardener who turned his hobby into a flourishing business, the attention of which took its toll on his family relationships. Estranged from his wife, and with his flower-farm in liquidation, Earl chances into a job which plays to another of his strengths: driving. With years of no incidents or licence points, he's just the kind of under-the-radar courier that's sought after by the Mexican drug cartels looking to move their product around the country*1. Earl quickly becomes adept at the job, but how technically 'good' can anyone be at something which is principally 'bad'? Where do the lines of professional pride and personal ethics cross, and is it possible to see that juncture before it's passed? How much slack are we supposed to cut someone who's providing for their family while being part of the machine which destroys other peoples'?

Don't worry, that's not explored. Any of it. What begins as a treatise of the decline of blue-collar America quickly descends into a mawkish and morally myopic "no choice, guv'nor" small-c conservative fantasy of free-marketeering, where disregard of the law and the cumulative misery of others is apparently fine if you're an old white dude who served in the army 70 years ago. The film goes into intricate detail as to how Earl drifts into his new employment, and gets as close to the why as it can without flat-out celebrating him for it. But is the character narratively condemned for his actions? The tone of this review so far probably answers that.

RIVER


For all Earl's initial reticence at the job and not thinking for a second that a bunch of Mexicans in an urban garage armed with machine guns might just be getting him to transport *gasp* actual drugs, and that bit where he sees the drugs and decides to keep doing the job anyway, he's unapologetically upfront about it all. Once apprehended by the authorities, Earl freely admits to what he was doing and accepts his prison sentence with equal openness. But is there even a nanosecond of actual contrition for his crimes? Is there fuck.

Our hero's just happy to be out of the house and not be being shouted at by his family. Andy Garcia's slimy drug-baron ensures Earl is paid with his requisite amount of cash, and also throws in a couple of bikini-clad hotties to keep him busy until the small hours to boot. The casual misogyny in The Mule is, while intermittent, staggering. And as much as it may be in keeping for the characters it portrays, at no point does the screenplay feel the need to cast any judgement on those perpetrating it. I think the joke here is meant to be the curmudgeonly protagonist who doesn't quite understand how the modern world works. But after about 30 minutes, it begins to appear that this applies to the Eastwood on the other side of the camera as well.

FANTASY


As judgemental as I am, I can envision the script meeting where Clint (in The Big Chair) insists "no, no Earl doesn't have to say he's sorry because he's not and that's fine because that's his character and don't forget this is a true story, and if you belittle or emasculate him then you're insulting everyone who fought for America in all the wars. And yes he gets to be a bit racist, but it's not like he's punching the black people so that's okay. Also Earl definitely needs to have a threesome with two chicks in the party scene because how else will we know he's straight and with fully-working plumbing? I mean apart from his family. And yes, the chicks have to kiss Earl on-camera before the door closes slowly. Yes, both of them… did you not hear the bit I just said about the war, Terry? PUT IT IN."

Maybe I'm just an old-fashioned sort who wants a protagonist they can like. Or if not like, at least gleefully will to self-destruction. And sure, those who lean to the right are entitled to their movie-heroes every bit as much as those on the other side of the fence, but narcotic distribution is something they traditionally get quite beetroot about, so it seems odd that the profession doesn't come in for at least some mild tutting here, and you really have to wonder where the moral baseline is. Can I really believe that the producer, director and star of this film is making it as a way to highlight the absolute hypocrisy of the main character?
As you've no doubt gathered by now, no. No, I can't.

BOSS THE PLANE THE PLANE


But even without my yoghurt-knitting politics coming between me and the screen, The Mule is just not that good a film. Focusing on nobody except the character who apparently cares about no one but himself, it has no message or wisdom to impart, which given the current socio-political climate seems like a shrugging of responsibility. But nor is it a rip-roaring ride of entertainment as we watch a light burn twice as brightly for half as long. No, an old man breaks the law repeatedly out of misguided boredom, he gets caught, he goes to prison. That's it. That's not a story, just a two-hour sequence of events.

Oh, and why would the cartels keep giving Earl a brand new smartphone for each trip if they're not going to use its inbuilt technology to track their multi-million dollar shipment, so that when the old man goes AWOL for a week they have literally no idea where he could be even though he was recruited to their business at his ex-wife's house so maybe start fucking looking there, especially since that's where he fucking is?

Clint, did you write this?



So, what sort of thing is it similar to?
It's probably a bit Gran Torino (same screenwriter) but with no moral compass.


Is it worth paying cinema-prices to see?
Not particularly.


Is it worth hunting out on DVD, Blu-ray or streaming, though?
If you like.


Is this the best work of the cast or director?
Absolutely not.


Will we disagree about this film in a pub?
Absolutely yes.


Is there a Wilhelm Scream in it?
There isn't.


Yeah but what's the Star Wars connection?
Level 2: Bradley Cooper's in this and he was Rocket in Guardians Of The Galaxy along with Peter 'Maul' Serafinowicz, Benicio 'DJ' Del Toro, Spencer 'Vader' Wilding and Ralph 'Garmuth' Ineson.


And if I HAD to put a number on it…


*1 Of course the initial thing that attracts the cartel rep's attention is that Earl is an old man steadily driving an old beat up truck. So what's the first thing he does the minute he gets paid after his first run? Yeah, he buys a gleaming new pickup which looks conspicuous-as-fuck no matter who's driving it. Game-face Earl, game-face[ BACK ]


DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

Monday, 10 September 2018

Review: The Nun





The Nun
Cert: 15 / 96 mins / Dir. Corin Hardy / Trailer



I've got a spreadsheet where I list all the films I've watched*1, link to reviews, categorise them by score, BBFC rating, genre etc. One of those genres available in the dropdown is 'True Story'. Corin Hardy's The Nun opens with a caption-card reading "The following occurred in Romania, 1952". Now, The Nun wasn't categorised in my spreadsheet as 'True Story' before I sat down in screen 5, and it sure as fuck isn't afterward, either. If anything, an early sequence in which our eponymous villain glides slowly down a corridor sees a crucifix on the wall slowly turning upside down the closer to it she gets. As The Nun™ draws parallel to the now-inverted cross, it bursts into flames, and I realised these particular real events have apparently been screenwritten by a 17yr old Cradle Of Filth fan…

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The Nun is the fifth movie in the Conjuring universe. It is the very definition of A Studio Horror, in which an ancient demon is summoned into the body of a middle-aged woman in an Eastern European convent, and is so furious at this that it then goes a bit mad and kills pretty much everyone at every opportunity. For obvious reasons the Vatican isn't too happy at the ruckus being caused, so they send Father Burke (Demián Bichir) to investigate with a collection of suitcases, accompanied for reasons which really aren't made clear by prospective good-nun Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga*2). Hell on.

It's the kind of film where a French-Canadian farmer living in Romania answers the door to a pair of strangers by speaking in English. The range of accents here is astounding.

The film's basically fine if that's what you're into. But as is so often the case, you'd have to be pretty new to the genre to be wrapped up in anything it has to say. At this point in the ongoing Conjuring saga, the storyline itself is almost completely linear. But wearing the continuity badge upfront like a press-pass, at least that's expected. If anything, I'd much rather have this movie be middling as part of a series than standing alone thinking it's better than it is. The Nun is well enough assembled, but in a way that suggests no-one involved believed they were making something unique, so just didn't try. The wardrobe and set-dressing are nothing less than meticulous, yet I still didn't believe for a single frame that this was taking place 66 years ago*3.

Oh, and when the power is pulled from a radio, the music will just cease, it doesn't drop in speed and pitch like a turntable. Not even in 1952. Although I'm also aware that nothing else in that particular sequence makes sense either.


The Conjuring series has been up and down like a rollercoaster, but this is an absolute ghost train of a movie. With dusty tombs, papal crisis meetings, an Act II backstory exposition reel and more jump-scares you can throw a crucifix at, it's more a tribute to the genre than a pastiche, but still made with a knowing glint in its eye. And with its motifs of guilt and possession in a Romanian setting, The Nun owes as much to Bram Stoker as it does William Friedkin.

Oh, and when farmer Terry is walking around the catacombs with the flaming torch in the film's crescendo? The audience can see where the inbuilt gas jets are, mate.

Still, the bits with the pentacles made me laugh. I mean out loud*4.


The Nun is much like the cave on Dagobah.
"What's in there?"
"Only what you take with you."


So, what sort of thing is it similar to?
Well let's take a wild guess, shall we?


Is it worth paying cinema-prices to see?
Well, not unless you're a hardened fan of the series.


Is it worth hunting out on DVD, Blu-ray or streaming, though?
Not unless you're a hardened fan of the series.


Is this the best work of the cast or director?
It's not.


Will we disagree about this film in a pub?
Probably not.


Is there a Wilhelm Scream in it?
Definitely not.


Yeah but what's the Star Wars connection?
Level 1: Rogue One Dr. Evazan's in this.


And if I HAD to put a number on it…


*1 Not that regular readers will be surprised by this, obviously [ BACK ]

*2 And for the record, Taissa Farmiga is a very capable and competent central performer here (given the state of the screenplay), who is the younger sister of Conjuring 1 & 2 star Vera Farmiga, and who looks and acts very much like Vera Farmiga, and whose point in the story's timeline suggests that her character could just be a younger version of the character played by Vera Farmiga, and whose experiences in the film point towards a third-act reveal surprising approximately no-one that 'hey this is really Lorraine from the Conjuring films!', especially since Vera Farmiga appears in the film's bookend scenes, but then that doesn't happen and you have to wonder why the actual fuck Taissa would be cast if the family resemblance wasn't going to be a thing because otherwise it's just really distracting. [ BACK ]

*3 While watching The Nun, It crossed my mind (because it's the sort of film which allows the viewer's train of thought to wander well off the tracks) that I have no problem believing in Santa Claus when I'm watching a great Christmas movie. Just between the opening titles and closing credits, obviously, and just as a dramatic conceit to tell the story. So why am I so cynical when it comes to supernatural horror? Why can't I just switch off and be 'in the moment'? I suspect it's something to do with caption cards claiming some sort of documentary heritage, but I'm snarky at movies that don't have these, too. Answers on a postcard, please. [ BACK ]

*4 No real code-breaking in this, since I was sat in my local's massive screen 5 on my own for the entire movie. Which I didn't mind at all, as you can imagine. That said, the only worry I had was that I'd look round at one point and there'd be someone dressed as a nun sitting four about seats away. Anyway, that didn't happen. Although if I ran a cinema, I'd make sure one of my staff members was doing that with every screening. [ BACK ]


DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.