Review: Hocus Pocus (30th Anniversary)

Hocus Pocus
Cert: PG / 96 mins / Dir. Kenny Ortega / Trailer

Taking as its starting point the classic Macbethian trio of witch sisters, Kenny Ortega's much underrated and overlooked seminal feminist 1993 horror treatise Hocus Pocus may seem like a playful romp, but is actually a tale crafted from a draft manuscript by none other than Howard Phillips Lovecraft, discovered in 1974 among the belongings of his deceased ex-wife Sonia Greene, snapped up by Buena Vista and duly transcribed to Disney's development-hell for almost two decades*¹.

All of the literary touchstones are duly homaged. The antiquated prologue is based around the New England witch trials (which which HPL was distractingly fascinated), and both it and its contemporary main-narrative occur on Samhain. Obsessed with the hidden knowledge of cats, the story is one of an ancient evil lying dormant until it's finally revived, so that the past can posses the present. This is orchestrated by a trio of brash if well-meaning innocents, unspeakably drawn to a forbidden sacred tome bound in human flesh. And just as the heroes believe they are making headway with magic for good purposes - unaware that they themselves have been drawn into a life of supernatural servitude - the three resurrected witches are unaware that the insanity of aeons has clouded their resolve, and they themselves are likewise slaves to greater forces - every bit at the mercy of the Elder Ones as the town they claim to haunt. Mass hysteria ensues while the dead rise from their graves, in a land where the sun never seems to rise and torment is eternal. Hocus Pocus is a tale of madness, witchcraft and helpless nihilism in the true Lovecraftian fashion.

And best of all, leading man Omri Katz looks like the reincarnated ancestor of Mr Spooner from Are You Being Served?. What's not to love?

*¹ You think I'm joking at this point, much like the write-up I did for The Spaceman and King Arthur, but have you stopped to ask yourself why Hocus Pocus has the same initials as Howard Phillips? Aahhh... ^{[ BACK ]}

DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

Review: Ed Wood

Ed Wood (1994)
Cert: 15 / 121 mins / Dir. Tim Burton / Trailer



Ah, the mid nineties. That magical era when Johnny Depp was just beginning to wind down his actual acting and begin his long-running (to-date, in fact) stint as being Johnny Depp™. Tim Burton's 1994 fact-based biopic Ed Wood catches the Deppster in his transitional period where he's actually doing both. Because as much as you know the events depicted in the film actually happened (with a few artistic alterations and omissions), you never forget you're watching Johnny Depp.

That's no bad thing here, though, and he's the perfect outlet for Tim Burton's über-kitsch portrayal of the eponymous 1950s B-Movie maestro. The film is beautifully assembled, as you'd expect from Burton, but its real strength lies in its script, just shy of comedy but too arch for drama, with a few of the sharpest zingers you've heard since... well, since 1994.

Aiding and abetting Depp are a supporting cast in the shape of Sarah Jessica Parker, Patricia Arquette, Bill Murray and Jeffrey Jones, but the scenes are well and truly stolen by Martin Landau portraying the late Bela Lugosi, complete with the foul-mouthed acidic outbursts you wouldn't normally expect from a Touchstone (read: Disney) movie.

Stefan Czapsky's high-contrast cinematography and lighting evoke the era of trashy Hollywood perfectly, and I have to be honest and say that Howard Shore's chintzy score is more at home with the feel of the film than Burton-stalwart Danny Elfman's would have been in the mid 90s.

The only real pause the film gave me is that it's so forcefully camp that I couldn't really connect with it emotionally, which is a shame because there's clearly a more engaging story to be told, here. It's the same sort of disconnect I felt watching Burton's Big Eyes, and it leaves the finger of doubt pointing towards the storyteller, not the story.

That said, the film has at least reminded me that I really need to dig out 'Plan 9 From Outer Space' again. It's been far too long…

Really. Not by intent, just poor timing and bad luck.



I am.



If you're a fan of 50s trash-a-rama, yes.



Not that I heard.



Ed Wood stars Sarah Jessica Parker and Lisa Marie, both of whom appeared in Tim Burton's Mars Attacks!, as did Natalie 'Padmé' Portman.







DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

Review: Escape From Planet Earth

Escape From Planet Earth (2D)
Cert: U / 86 mins / Dir. Cal Brunker




I arrived at my local cinema with rather low expectations for this, and these were pushed even lower as I had my own private screening of the film (in my experience, being the only patron in the auditorium is a sign of little public interest in the film, usually because the film in question is a bit crap). But after wincing through the trailers for the horrors that youngsters in the UK will be subjected to this year*¹, and through Harrison Ford smiling unconvincingly for money, the movie began…

Now, there's a reason that Escape From Planet Earth has been released in The Movie Graveyard Shift and also not during a half-term, and that's because it's astoundingly average. Your padawans will not be begging you to take them to this, and it's doubtful you'll be upgrading your home-cinema setup once it's released on Blu-Ray. From the B-List voice talent, to the god-awful dance-pop soundtrack, to the character-design that looks like it came pre-loaded with the software*², there's little here that you haven't seen done before, and better. The plot is a strictly mechanical A+B+C=D, but E, F and G! affair, and while that's fine for the younger audience, they've already seen films like Wreck-It Ralph and Monsters Inc with a much higher story-concept. And to cap the whole thing off, Ricky Gervais stars as the voice of a sarcastic computer operating system, and is out-of-place to the extent that they've laid a fuzz-filter over his voice, suggesting to me that he phoned the performance in literally as well as metaphorically. Elsewhere, the casting director seems to have been so intent on getting Named Actors, that matching their voices to the characters never seemed to be a factor. Rob Corddry and Jonathan Morgan Heit seem to be the only solid choices for their father/son combo; everyone else's parts could quite easily be recast with no adverse affect on the film.

And yet, there are moments in the script which are genuine, sci-fi references which work well without being shoehorned in*³, as well as a lot of fantastic slapstick. By the time you've piled in a load of Area 51 references (some subtle, most not), the film becomes far more watchable than you feel it should be. A U-Certificate doesn't mean a movie has to be dull, but it does mean it's going to be 'safe'. Keep that in mind, and Escape From Planet Earth becomes something worthwhile to keep the youngsters entertained; although it's doubtful that you'll be badgered into buying whatever merchandise they've produced for the film.

For best results, file alongside Turbo and Planes. And considering those two were made by 'players' in the game, Escape From Planet Earth suddenly doesn't seem too shabby. Well, not quite so shabby, anyway.

Yep.



I chuckled often, but that was about it.



Sadly not.



Cinema if you want the 3D, otherwise this is a strictly DVD affair.



Nah.



Only if my nephew/niece insists on putting it on.



Not that I heard, and this sort of thing usually has one. There's a chance it was buried of course, but I didn't pick it up. Fair enough.

Brendan Fraser's better than this though, isn't he? ...Isn't he?

*¹ The Postman Pat Movie appears to be a calculated insult to the TV episodes that are being made now, never mind the original series. Any parent who takes their child to this really shouldn't be raising a human at all…
*² Although to be fair, the texturing and rendering themselves are absolutely gorgeous, it's just a shame they weren't used for something more creative.
*³ "James… Cameron… Get the aliens!". Oh, come on, I thought that was pretty good for a film where most of the parents will have stopped concentrating half an hour prior to that line.
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.