Greta Gerwig, a celebrated, dedicated and ascending storyteller of note, seems to have used her not inconsiderable clout to assemble what can only be described as A Dream Cast*1, and then used that pooled talent to craft the kind of twee, perfunctory, relentlessly-soundtracked costume drama which could have been knocked out by any TV director. So well done, I guess.
Now admittedly I am not in the target demographic for this, I haven't read Little Women or seen any of the fifteen previous screen adaptations, but I don't feel particularly enlightened for having been introduced to the story now. I can see what Gerwig has added structurally in her rendition, and while that's an interesting play I just couldn't find anything within the story itself to engage me. I don't believe in 'girl films' and 'boy films', just stories worth telling and worth telling well. This is characters shrieking over one another for two-and-a-quarter hours while I play Hunt The Redeeming Feature.
Is this a test?
Because if so, I'll be happy to wear a badge saying 'I Failed'.
Oh, I don't know. Costume drama things, I suppose.
I mean I can see that it's a bit more than that, but it's definitely still similar to them.
Well if you're not bothered about the Skywalker family this December, the choice is between this, Cats and Playing With Fire. So good luck.
*1 Two things here, though. 1) Saorise Ronan, Florence Pugh, Emma Watson and Eliza Scanlen are all fantastic but do not, repeat not, look like sisters - am I to assume this is in some way intentional? 2) Despite him being 'a name' in 2019, I have only seen Timothée Chalamet in one thing, he was very good in it but I am now so fucking done with his shit it's not true, moping around the set with his pouting, winsome, simpering mannerisms like a haunted flannel soaked in Lambrini and regret. There, I said it.
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DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
And, relax. After the pleasant surprise that was Disney's retelling of Cinderella, but followed the next year by a rendition of The Jungle Book which left me blank-faced, I wasn't exactly a quivering bundle of excitement for Beauty And The Beast being given the same live-action treatment. Which would partly explain why it took me a week to set aside the time to go see it.
But the Friday-night performance of the film (and in my local's largest auditorium) was veritably packed. Considering there are still five-showings a day and it's been out for a week, this is an excellent turn and good news for everybody. Speaking of which, let's cut to the chase: Beauty And The Beast is marvellous. I see no reason to build up to praise, here. Following the framework of the classic story, it's primarily a remake of the 1991 animated film, with branches of the 1994 Broadway musical grafted on. And it is, to be blunt, perfect Disney.
Emma Watson and Dan Stevens bring equally bold performances, with subtle character-development on each side which could easily be overlooked by many another director. They're reliably supported by an ensemble cast of established character actors*1 and near-flawless visuals. There are enough songs to make the film A Musical™, but still plenty of gaps in between to allow for actual storytelling to occur. Although speaking of the cast, I can't help but feel that the Scottish Ewan McGregor's vocal performance as the French candelabra Lumiere is a calculated, 30-year payback for Christopher Lambert's work in Highlander. Never entirely comfortable with anything other than his native-brogue or Kenobi British, the actor's nowhere near 'bad' here but always just sounds like Ewan McGregor putting on an arch, comedy-French accent.
And speaking of retribution, there's been much (and needless) controversy about Josh Gad's LeFou being depicted as gay in the film, of course. While his moments are certainly played up for comic relief, he is nonetheless one of the film's character high-points. But the cynic in me couldn't help but wonder if this more sympathetic turn is Gad showing some form of penitence for his borderline homophobic character in PIxels. I actually hope it is.
But all in all, there's really very little for me to say about Beauty And The Beast. The audience know what they're going in for, and the film delivers. Although more eager to see the film that I was, Mrs Blackout actually found the film's finale to be a bit over the top. I, on the other hand, think that by that point, the film has earned every second of its self-indulgent and boisterous crescendo.
With a cast this strong, probably not, to be fair.
Nope.
I didn't hear one.
Which is ridiculous, because there's a five-minute segment just crying out for it.
Level 1: This film's got the voice of Obi-Wan Kenobi in it.
*1 With the unsurprising exception of Luke Evans, who seems to think he's starring in an am-dram pantomime version of the tale. It's perhaps not his fault as he's a) almost uniformly awful in everything, and b) been mis-cast terribly to begin with. While Gaston is certainly a deplorable archetype, part of that is his deceptively-dashing exterior. It's never a 'reveal' that the character's actually an arsehole, but you're supposed to come to the conclusion gradually. Evans' version just looks like a wrong'un from the moment he steps onto set, barking like Peter Kay auditioning for The Pirates Of Penzance… [ BACK ]
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
While I'll freely admit that I found Darren Aronofsky's interpretation of Noah far more engaging than the trailer had suggested, I'd still be hard-pushed to tell you that I enjoyed watching it. Veering between batshit-crazy and infuriatingly monotonous, as an exercise in film-making, I think it's unfocused compared to Aronofsky's other work. As an exercise in storytelling, it's all over the shop, with the inconsistencies of the original tale and a whole host of new ones. Although to be fair, most of those pale into insignificance when Ray Winstone's army is being battered into the dirt by 20ft high Rock-Megatrons. The first half of the film has some gorgeous touches (the constellations visible in the daytime sky, the strangely modern wardrobe choices), but by the time the rains come the creativity takes a back seat to the brooding storyline. It's surprisingly well acted given how preposterous it all is (with the exception of Jennifer Connelly's "emotional scene").
Besides, when you've got Percy Jackson and Hermione Granger on your team, surviving a heavy shower should be a doddle, shouldn't it?
Like a drunken mashup between Lord of the Rings, Kevin Smith's Dogma and Hitchkiker's Guide To The Galaxy*1, Noah has to be seen to be believed. A striking effort indeed, but an effort at what, I'm not sure.
In many ways, not at all. Those aspects of the trailer are in the film, but that's not an accurate summation, no.
I don't think so, but it held my attention.
I have no idea.
It does look nice on a massive screen, but this is an Orange Wednesdays kind of film.
No. If anything, talk to me about it, I don't care if we disagree.
I doubt it, but never say never.
I didn't hear one. Plenty of opportunity, too.
If God's been flooding the UK recently because he doesn't like The Gays, how come he told Noah everything was going to be just fantastic now by sending him a massive rainbow, eh?
*1 Because I really wanted one of those angels to say "God? Don't talk to me about God..."
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
This Is The End Cert: 15 / 106 mins / Dir. Evan Goldberg & Seth Rogen
Maybe it's a trans-Atlantic thing? The 84% user rating over at Rotten Tomatoes does not correlate with the atmosphere in my local cinema at the end of today's performance, or the subsequent rumblings I've heard (although I've yet to read other reviews).
To call 'This Is The End' a vanity-project, would be to suggest that it was made to raise the profile of the cast, and that it'll be proudly listed on any of their CV's. Sadly, it's unlikely that this 100 minute circle-jerk will fulfil either of those criteria. After a shambling, opening fifteen minutes which establishes a location (if not an actual plot) and sees most of Seth Rogen's non-speed-dial buddies fall into a fiery sinkhole, our intrepid gang (Rogen, Baruchel, Franco, Hill, McBride, Robinson) proceeds to sit in the house and do fuck-not-nothing for an hour and a half. This extended 'mid-section' of the film is so monumentally dull, it's almost the funniest thing in there. Once they realise that there's no plot to resolve, they decide to leave the house and see all the CGI demons that the budget has been saving up. And since no-plot requires no-ending, the Backstreet Boys come on and then there's the credits. Not even kidding.
It seems apparent (indeed evident) that the budget was blown at either end of the film, and I only wish they'd had enough cash left over to employ a script editor. Or a script writer. Or a writer. The fact that the cast are playing exaggerated (I hope) versions of themselves only goes to underline how self-indulgent it all is, and at the point where Jonah Hill takes the piss out of Danny McBride for Your Highness, my eyes rolled so hard I could see my brain. The irony also didn't escape me that in the middle of the dull-stretch, the group use a video camera to make an improvised, zero-budget DIY sequel to Pineapple Express; the bitter truth being that the whole movie is only $32m out from being exactly that anyway. What makes the whole affair worse is that I actually like Rogen, Hill and Robinson. *seethes*
I won't even go into the uncomfortable section with Emma Watson. I'm sure other bloggers/writers will dissect that far more capably than I can. For the most part, I spent my time wishing for the actual apocalypse to arrive, if only so that something would happen. The IMDB page for this says that people who liked 'This Is The End' also liked 'Here Comes The Boom'. I rest my case*1.
TL;DR? 'This Is The End' is shitting awful. Avoid.
I sort of is, yes.
Nope.
Who fucking knows?
Telly. At an absolute push.
Yep.
I will cut my own hands off before I watch this again.
I think I heard one when Jonah Hill was on fire. And even that's nowhere near as interesting as it sounds.
Is this all they have to show for 32 million dollars? No, really? Is this some kind of elaborate tax-loss?
*1 Yep. Snob. What of it? You know this.
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
A second viewing for Wallflower as I dragged Mrs Blackout along to see what could well be my favourite film of the year. There's not really a lot to add to my first review, but that's not to say it was any less enjoyable. Knowing the backstories of the characters meant I wasn't as overwhelmed with each revelation of a destroyed childhood, but I got more out of the humour and the details because of it. Watching the film again also reinforced my suspicion that the film definitely isn't going to be for everybody, so outside of this blog, I probably won't be recommending it to people who aren't interested anyway.
For the record, Mrs Blackout enjoyed it very much.
But seriously, who doesn't know Heroes by Bowie? It's not a 'new' song at the time the film takes place. "I found the tunnel song!" Sam exclaims excitedly as she hands a cassette to Charlie. "Indeed," Charlie thinks, "and I hope your new friends aren't letting you hear the bloody end of that one, Mrs Eclectic Taste In Music..."
See the film, that'll make sense.
See the film. Today. Go.
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
When a movie opens with the titles set in a distressed-typewriter typeface, and an acoustic guitar over the top, you know you're in for a little bit of twee, a little bit of hipster, and… well, a whole lot of Twister™*1...
That pretty much sums the film up, and yet also woefully sells it short. It's everything the trailer makes you expect it to be, but it's so much more engaging than it lets on. All of the central characters are beautifully portrayed*2, and the story embraces emotion without relying on schmaltz to gloss things over. In fact, it's the twisting of the narrative that's the film's greatest strength. You don't love the protagonists in spite of their perceived faults, you love them because of them. It's not always a great idea for the writer of a novel to also pen the screenplay adaptation and direct the film, but in this case you get the impression that no-one else could have pulled it off as well as Chbosky.
As I've said, it's painfully hipster at times, with vinyl records, mix-tapes and Rocky Horror references all upping the kook-factor, but in the context of these characters trying to find themselves, it's part-and-parcel of the proceedings, and part of who you're watching. I had visions of Wallflower being hard work, but I'm very pleased to have been mistaken*3.
If you've ever felt like you can't quite fit in, this film is for you. I'm not sure how it'll stand up to repeated viewings, but I plan to find out.
Interested by the trailer? You'll love the film. If not, avoid.
*1Twister™. That's mine, but you can use it. You're welcome.
*2 Yeah, even Hermione, who failed to act as Hermione.
*3 That said, is it just me or is Joan Cusack slightly terrifying? I honestly had no idea where those scenes were going to go.
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
