Wednesday 18 October 2017

Review: Goodbye Christopher Robin





Goodbye Christopher Robin
Cert: PG / 107 mins / Dir. Simon Curtis / Trailer



Well, there was me thinking I was going to be distracted by the kid throughout Goodbye Christopher Robin, when in actual fact I was more concerned with Margot Robbie being picked up by the rozzers at any moment for failing to control an accent in a built-up screenplay. Seriously, what the hell was that?

It's amazing to think that Robbie and Domhnall Gleeson starred together before in About Time, where the former's Contemporary Middle Class Brit™ accent was absolutely flawless, yet here she is appearing in a film set between the World Wars, and her Upper Class Brit™ accent keeps swerving back to her native Australian (which is usually a fantastic blank-canvass for voice-work, unless you're Sam Worthington). Now I want Robbie to take a recurring role in Eastenders, just to see which way it goes at the other end of the scale. On the occasions when she's clearly trying too hard (almost every other line), she almost sounds German.

It's frankly unforgivable that a performance so sloppy should ever reach the editing suite, let alone the cinema screen, and I blame the director entirely for apparently not having the cojones to be like "Okay, cut! Right Domhnall? Great work, keep that up, you sound for all the world like a young Obi-Wan Kenobi and I know of at least one film-blogger who will delight in that irony. Young Will? You're doing fine but go easy on the cutesy-cutsey, we're not sponsored by Hallmark, you know. And Margot. Oh, Margot. Please try to remember that Daphne Milne was a socialite from Battersea, not a Berlin spy who's been hiding out in Sydney for a decade but suddenly finds herself trapped improvising a role in the British countryside. Let's go again, and… ACTION.

Hmm? The film itself? It was okay, I suppose. Not really my bag to begin with; costume melodrama, a bit twee, seems to skip over large chunks of time where important things happen (like the publishing of All The Books). Then again, I have no strong feelings either way for Winnie The Pooh if I'm being honest. You'll probably enjoy it, though.

Also yeah, the kid's infuriating.



So, watch this if you enjoyed?
The kind of stiff-upper-lip drama that doesn't quite romanticise*1 the aftermath of a world war, but really can't go into it all properly because of its BBFC rating.


Should you watch this in a cinema, though?
Sunday afternoon DVD, tops.


Does the film achieve what it sets out to do?
What, to give a convenient, heavy-handed and simplistic account of a difficult relationship in a time of great uncertainty? Probably.


Is this the best work of the cast or director?
Gleeson is fantastic, then again he's rarely anything but.
But I don't think we've seen his best work yet
.


Will I think less of you if we disagree about how good/bad this film is?
I shouldn't imagine so.


Yes, but is there a Wilhelm Scream in it?
There are four flashback scenes to the Western Front in this film, and not a single Wilhelm Scream to be heard. Ridiculous. I mean if nothing else, you'd expect a movie with General Hux and Harley Quinn to have more shouting in it, frankly.


Yes, but what's the Star Wars connection?
Level 1: As mentioned, General Hux is in this, as is Phoebe 'as yet un-named role in the upcoming Han Solo film' Waller-Bridge.


And if I HAD to put a number on it…


*1 Speaking of romanticising, why the actual fuck is the Elizabeth Tower (aka 'Big Ben' at the Houses of Parliament) on the poster, there? The Milnes move away from London to the countryside during Act I, only go back very briefly and at no point does anyone walk along the banks of the Thames. Half of this poster is bullshit. Is this for the American audiences? I think they're already sold on account of it being "quintessentially British" mate, you don't have to fucking lie to them. This has made me more angry than the accent-thing, if I'm being honest. [ BACK ]

DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

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