Short Weird Tales: Ghoul

THE GHOUL SONG
(in E♭, Michael Slanders / Donald Flann - 1860)

v.
A week ago last Thursday, I was strolling quite alone,
On the chilly lane which passes by the church;
When I'm sure that from the graveyard, I could hear a quiet moan,
A sound which gave my heart a sudden lurch;

So I leaned in through the railings and I hollered "who goes there?",
But I saw no one and thought myself a fool;
When a voice right by my shoulder with a mouldering of air,
Whispered to me "I'm g-hungry and I'm a g-houl..."

ch.
"I'm a g-houl! - I'm a g-houl!
I'm the g-nastiest work of un-nature you can say,
I'm a g-houl, oh I could drool!
At the g-thought that I might have caught my lunch today!

I'm a g-houl! - Now as a rule,
I will conduct my ghastly feasting without shame,
I'm a g-houl, though it seems cruel,
I will suck your innards from your screaming frame!"

v.
I had taken rooms in Ealing, to be closer to my work,
Not the nicest place, but cheap and somewhat merry;
When I had that creepy feeling and I felt a proper berk,
For my guest house sat behind a mortuary!

Notwithstanding all the smell, and the blood and guts as well,
The real problem was nocturnal visitations!
I was woken to exclaim, by a scratching at my pane,
And the hungriest of gurgled lamentations...

ch.

"I'm... a... g-houl! - a g-nother g-houl!
And I g-wish to slurp the juices from your spine!
I'm a g-houl, ah they would fuel,
All the excuses for further abuses I could assign!

I'm a g-houl! - A pestilence mule!
It is my lot, to spread my rot, and stinking remains!
I'm a g-houl! Beelzebub's tool!
I am to shamble on Earth, and feed on humanity's brains!"

coda.
"...some say that I'm a g-zombie,
But it's a different thing, no that's not me...
I'm a g-houl, I'm a g-houl, I'm a g-houl!"

fin.

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