Review: Scary Movie 5

Scary Movie 5
Cert: 15 / 86 mins / Dir. Malcolm D. Lee



It's hard to imagine anyone making a comedy film which is outshone by the EE/Kevin Bacon ad*¹ that precedes it, but messrs Lee and Zucker have done it! It's not 'offensive', it's not 'gross-out', it's not 'risky', it's just not funny. I know, I know, that's entirely subjective. There were a handful of people in the audience that found it highly amusing, to the point where they were giggling and guffawing through the parts which aren't meant to have jokes (such as the setups and weak links between the appalling sketches). I didn't find the film funny, but even I could tell where the laughs were supposed to be. Although interestingly, the audience I was with left during the gag-reel which intersperses the credits. After a whopping 75ish minutes, they were already sick of the film and left at the earliest opportunity (not that the gag-reel is any better or worse than the rest of the film).

Cycling haphazardly between the plots of Mama, Black Swan and Rise of the Planet of the Apes*², this is an old joke, badly told. That this has been made doesn't surprise me (sadly), but the fact that this has been distributed to cinemas, in 2013, will baffle me to my dying day. The Weinsteins are old enough to fucking well know better. As is every single person who appears on-screen. A script that might have come across as self-referential on paper seems to be acted out by people who have Saturday Night Live as their high-watermark when it comes to performance comedy.

But at least I wasn't disappointed by it, in that it's exactly as awful as I'd feared from that trailer. Hey, at least they didn't make it in 3D, right?

Oh, yes..



Mainly just crying. Inside.



Not a fucking clue.



Never see this, ever.



That's putting it mildly.



I fucking hope not.



No.





*¹ And not the first one, which had a level of originality at least, but the second one (which the internet doesn't seem to have), which uses the same jokes to massively diminishing returns.
*² That's right, two of those three aren't horror films. I know this is nothing new for the "Scary" Movie franchise, but they could at least pretend they're trying.

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