Review: Creed III

Creed III
Cert: 12A / 116 mins / Dir. Michael B. Jordan / Trailer

Funny old game. Michael B Jordan gets punched in the face for two hours and I'm the one who leaves with a headache. My memory tells me that I largely enjoyed the first Creed movie and mostly disliked the second, but written records suggest that I just found both grindingly average. Credit where it's due then, for a threequel which is nothing if not tonally consistent...

Jordan himself directs Ryan Coogler and Zach Baylin's screenplay*¹, and by now the scripts have ceased any attempt at actual character development outside of ham-fisted cliché (successful Punching Man is Sad™; maybe he just needs to do more punching again?), with everything not taking place in a boxing ring acting as a clockwork placeholder between bouts*². The worst thing is that the cast are all superb performers and utterly wasted here*³.

There is a certain visceral thrill to the fight choreography of course, but if this film can't get that right then there's no point in any of it. Jordan also attempts some interesting framing in the climactic match, but the real bonus at this point is at least there's no mumbled dialogue.

It's true that people come out of Star Wars and Marvel movies with much the same complaints, and they obviously have every right to do so. I'm very aware that this was not made for me, but I'm also certain that the series has far more dramatic and emotional potential than it's been able to realise. Because nothing says a character is going to have a stroke later in the film like having that character wryly say "I promise not to have a stroke tonight; maybe tomorrow though".

Ultimately, Creed III is an unapologetic pantomime of monosyllabic, paranoid, fragile masculinity; but all too often this is reduced this to deafening punchertainment rather than any sort of useful parable*⁴.

It is true however that the film knows what it is and knows what its target audience wants. This much is to be respected, even if actual enjoyment seemed a little further out of my reach...

*¹ The plot? Well, The Good Man from the first two films has been successful at punching people and winning special belts so he has now given up punching people and just owns a gym and branded clothing line instead. He's not happy, though. Then one day A Bad Man who he knows from the old days turns up acting like a bit of an arsehole. The Good man thinks The Arsehole might his friend, despite a) remembering him being An Arsehole through a series of vivid flashbacks, and b) literally everybody else in the film pointing out that he's An Arsehole and always has been. Then it takes an hour and a half for The Good Man to realise that The Arsehole is in fact An Arsehole, so he comes out of retirement and arranges a punching competition to settle once and for all who is the best at being violently upset. It is The Good Man. He Wins. And all credit to this film, The Good Man wins by punching The Arsehole until he cannot get up again, rather than that thing from before where neither of them actually win and a man behind a desk just decides who his favourite was. ^{[ BACK ]}

*² You know The Good Man is good because he has a wall-sized picture of himself in his house, like we all do. The Arsehole, on the other hand, doesn't even have a proper house. The Arsehole has a manual toothbrush, whereas The Good Man has an electric one. I mean, The Good Man doesn't know how to correctly use an electric toothbrush but he does own one, so that has to count for something. I imagine. Hashtag success. ^{[ BACK ]}

*³ I swear to god, fans of punching-films are going to tell their friends that Creed III is arthouse cinema because of the deaf kid's sign language subtitles... ^{[ BACK ]}

*⁴ To make matters worse during Creed's quiet talky scenes (like the ones where Mrs Creed tells Mr Creed that perhaps he needs to talk about his feelings rather than punching people, before Mr Creed goes on to win at the film by punching people), the auditorium's fittings were audibly rattling from John Wick playing in the screen next door, reminding me that I could have just been watching that again instead; a film which is far more violent and with a far worse script, but one which is also far more fun... ^{[ BACK ]}

DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
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