Review: Scream V (second-pass)

Scream V
Cert: 18 / 114 mins / Dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett / Trailer

And so, the double-bill to unveil the sixth entry in the Scream series involved a re-screening of the 2022's soft-relaunch*¹. That this Wednesday-night fanfare attracted a little over a dozen viewers*² might say something about the property's popularity, but that fact that its necessity would not be unveiled until the second half says far more about the creative direction as a whole.

Over-scripted, over-soundtracked and over-directed with deliberately intrusive sound design, there is, unfortunately, not much more to expand upon after watching this the first time. The film's high-points are every bit as triumphant, whereas the explaining-how-sequels-work schtick feels even more like shameless padding. While there's little to actively dislike in a movie crowded with two screenwriters and two directors, 2022's outing could only be more self-absorbed if it had a fictional director's commentary playing over the top.

That said, if all of the coy introspection was removed, the film would be around half an hour long. Quite frankly it's a miracle that the finale is as gloriously satisfying as it is*³, although that seems as much of a tribute to Once Upon A Time In Hollywood as 1996's Scream. If Scary Movie hadn't already been run mercilessly into the ground, you'd swear blind this was a parody of itself.

Ironically, 2022's Scream is far better at being the simplistic slasher it thinks it's better than, than being the intellectual thing it wants to be and that everyone's expecting anyway. The pen may be mightier than the sword, but ultimately the kitchen-knife is a far more brutal critic than the Media Studies nerd. A lesson for us all, there...

*¹ So back in 2022 Paramount 'rebooted' the line (according to the film's own script) and called this simply "Scream". Fine, except that a) it's not a reboot it's definitely a sequel, and b) the subsequent lack of distinction between the first and fifth entries is uninspired and unhelpful. Fast forward to 2023 and this film's sequel is then called "Scream VI" which, by very definition, turns 2022's Scream back into Scream V by default, hence the title of this review post. Although fuck knows where the roman numerals have appeared from for number 6, because Screams 1-4 weren't that pretentious. But number five definitely is, hence the title of this review post. I mean, if they can work "VI" into the M of Scream for the sixth movie's logo design, it stands to reason that just putting V in there for the one before is a piece of piss. But apparently not. All in all, needlessly messy, Paramount. Do you see what you made me do? ^{[ BACK ]}

*² Yeah, this all happened at the beginning of March; yeah this review is landing at the end of March. To paraphrase Dr Ian Malcolm, "life finds a way... of fucking everything up for itself and leaving little time - never mind concentration - for frivolities such as writing about what films you've been watching". Still, back now... ^{[ BACK ]}

*³ Yeah look, as much as I've got Opinions™ about Scream V, I defy anyone not to enjoy the last fifteen minutes, even if that carnage is just a cathartic release from all of the cinematic onanism which has led up to it. ^{[ BACK ]}

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• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
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